Now MPs will want free flights on Uganda Airlines
Well in, Uganda Airlines! It’s been a while. We’re back in the sky mapping the nation and flying the national flag higher for the world to see. Croatia might have the sensational Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović but we are getting Uganda Airlines back with Airbus.
The days when charlatans designed funny prototype aircraft and used it to court the attention and generosity of the son of Kaguta are fast fading.
But there is Opposition.
Of course, that was expected. Ugandans oppose so much that if Kaguta decided that enough was enough and threw in the towel, there would be protesters in downtown Kampala saying they still need him.
That is how I heard Winnie Byanyima lead the chorus of saboteurs of development by opposing the revamp of Uganda Airlines. Well, she is the wife of Dr Kizza Besigye – opposition runs in their DNA like baloney in Mwenda’s. So what do Ugandans want?
The other day I was in bed when this MP appeared. Okay, to set the record straight, it wasn’t Sylvia Rwabogo and I have no Brian Isiko traits. But it was a woman MP. Being in bed and ready for such an action, I went straight to the point. Wait, get your mind out of the gutter, it’s not what you think. It was an interview.
“So what do you think?” I asked.
“Think?” she cocked her ears seductively.
“Yes, about Uganda Airlines. A bane or boon for the economy?”
“It’s an airline so what do you think? It makes losses; they all do. But it has its importance that cannot be overestimated.”
“Like what?”
She simply smiled and left.
When I jerked from my siesta on the couch, the phone was trilling like an agitated Kahinda Otafiire giving a funeral speech. It was my editor calling about deadline for this Empty Tin. I thought about the weird dream and things fell into place.
Our MPs are special. They have to be wined and dined. They were all born with a silver spoon in their hands so they don’t know what it takes for the average Ugandan to make it through 24 hours in the shamba, vending yellow bananas on the street, in the bank paying tuition or at Mulago hospital struggling to stay alive.
Talking of Mulago, it’s clear that this lot of MPs will only see manna from heaven in this Uganda Airlines of ours.
You read the likes of Byanyima just opposing as if they cannot see that once Uganda Airlines is flying, MPs will pass a law that entitles them and their families and maids and janitors and milkmen free flights to wherever. And this will save the taxpayers the burden they have been bearing with paying air tickets for MPs.
Meanwhile, you are going to wonder how complimentary flights for MPs and their relatives will help the taxpayer and wonder if I am mad to begin with. But the moment these weird thoughts begin to run in your head, Mwenda will come in handy to explain how you FDC vagabonds and radicals never understand economics.
He will convince everyone who isn’t radical that it is possible to save the economy by granting MPs, RDCs and KCCA cleaners complimentary tickets on Uganda Airlines.
Ugandans need to appreciate that our MPs are building the nation. They have to put up with a lot of pain as Kadaga bosses them around. Imagine the macho male ones like Kibuule and how they must feel being asked to do this or that by a female Speaker when they have always felt women who dress provocatively should be raped?
Do Ugandans ever imagine what it is like to sit like packed sardines in that House and endure hours of boring deliberations? The sacrifice these MPs make in there is something only Mwenda can understand.
For us at Empty Tin, we can’t be more happier with Uganda Airlines. At last, the son of Kaguta has fulfilled his pledge. Now those who clamour for him to fulfil his promises will always be driven to Entebbe International Airport and shown Uganda Airlines.
What voters wanted was to see promises fulfilled. As for the impact of the fulfilment of these promises, that will be another aspect on the 2021-2026 re-election manifesto.
Well in, Uganda Airlines!
