Why NRM should introduce medal for Kayima, Odongo
The only times big boys are licensed to run are when they are trying to get to the bank in time to pay fees for their children during back-to-school frenzy and when they are competing for medals in the Olympics.
So it was that when dishonest TV stations broadcast footage of a man in police uniform and another mustachioed bald one abandoning his nigina sandals behind as they were being evacuated, my mind immediately ran to President Museveni insistence that journalists are dishonest, anti-development and enemies of the State.
Here they were, the media, projecting a battle hardened Gen Jeje Odongo and well trained Emilian Kayima as fleeing from riff-raff armed with just stones and their stomachs’ content that they can release in form of gas “down there,” and we are supposed to believe that? Men don’t run away from stones, not even when they are in Arua.
It’s good enough that Kayima clarified that he was only turning back faster than lightning because thunder was threatening to unleash hailstorm on his salty lips.
Talking of lips, you would believe everything he says if you just glanced at it. Kayima had to protect those lips from dissolving under the impact of hailstorm in Mpigi.
Because Kayima and Odongo beat the speed of lighting, they managed to evade thunder and whatever other tragedies it had in store for them. In the past, when things like that happened to men and women who are paid to make citizens angry by just uttering a word, the government would have announced a public holiday already.
In fact, if Ndugu Rugunda was any serious than VP Ssekandi, he would be going to Parliament to announce that September 9 will be a public holiday going forward in memory of how two State functionaries beat the speed of lightning to avoid rain.
For a while, Opposition riff-raff, hooligans and vagabonds have always wanted the suited men behind the Guinness Book of World Records to come to Kampala and award Dr Kizza Besigye for being the most arrested man in the world. But those suited men never come. And they won’t be coming to certify that Kayima and Odongo ran faster than the speed of light either.
But not all is lost. Locally, there will be medals being dished around to whoever cared. Of course, Bebe Cool could be the first recipient of the remix of the ‘Daamu’ (blood) medal when he gets the ‘Maji’ (water) recognition for his valour in enduring it all. Deservingly so.
Whoever has taken over the idles docket of selecting medal recipients from Gen Elly Tumwine should remember that Kayima and Odongo earned it last weekend.
Imagine these guys were armed, had bodyguards and their word could have seen coffin makers cash in big time, but they chose not to fight mere water and fled. In other times, some trigger-happy chaps would have ordered their guards to spray live bullets at the thunder and the clouds would have rained blood.
But good old Jeje decided that he had fired enough bullets in Luweero and wouldn’t waste anymore fighting an avoidable battle.
Perhaps Kayima can use his experience to lecture the brute boys his superiors always deploy against the masses that when they see lightning flash, it means there will be the agonising sound of thunder soon and before the first raindrop, they must retreat.
