Prime
God must be at the centre of marriage
According to different Christian denominations, marriage is a lifelong relationship between one man as a husband and one woman as wife.
God’s choice that His Son Jesus Christ be raised in the family context of Joseph and Mary, as revealed in John 6:42, invites us to price the institution of marriage and family life. According to Mathew 1:18-25, marriage is a calling from God, and not a human institution.
It is a covenant gift of God wherein the family is formed in life-giving and sacrificial love. Marriages which have God at the centre stay strong despite many trials.
God can only work in a relationship if the couple first lets Him work in each spouse-to-be individually.
It is, therefore, imperative to start a family by getting married in God and with God-fearing persons. God despises cohabitation or trial marriages, as sinful. Money should not be an excuse to delay a wedding, because it does not have to be expensive.
God first
God has every right to demand that He should be first in our lives because He created us for Himself (see Colossians 1:16). We would, then, fear to do anything that displeases God; not because He gets terribly angry, but because we do not want to abuse His love. The same fear should also motivate spouses to be faithful to each other.
Going by the adage “A family that prays together stays together”, regular prayer must be upheld in marriage. Instead of quarreling over problems, the couple should pray together about them.
Spouses should pray for each other, as well, in order to become more spiritually bonded and mutually supportive. On Sundays, spouses should make it a rule to go to church together, before other engagements. God honours and blesses those who honour Him.
Studying the Bible
The Bible is full of wisdom that can help spouses handle the different areas of life, including relationships. They should take time to study the word of God and discover its application in their marriage.
A healthy relationship does not require one to change one’s personality, but to change bad attitudes. Since only God can change the human heart, a couple should ask God to change each other’s bad habits for the better.
Helping each other grow
A couple should aim at helping each other grow in their relationship with God, especially when the other party is weak. This will enable both “to balance the boat” of marriage. At times when one is tempted to compare their spouse to someone they think to be better, they must, instead, learn to appreciate their own as uniquely created and loved by God. 1 Corinthians 13 provides a checklist for any marriage relationship, especially where it says that love is patient, kind, and not self-seeking.
Whenever a relationship is in trouble, a couple should seek advice from God-fearing people. These will not only give the necessary wisdom to maturely handle the situation, but also pray for the spouses.
The couple must keep in mind that God has given each individual spouse spiritual gifts and a specific calling. This should be a spring-board to support each other to pursue their call and use their God-given talents to glorify Him. They will learn to serve God and their neighbours.
There is no better place for children to grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man, than in a stable marriage (see Luke 2:52).
