Prime
The joy of sharing interests
You do not have to like the same things but there still needs to be balance. PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK
How important are shared relationship interests with a partner to you? You see, I believe that if we cannot find at the very least 50 percent common ground then it is only a matter of time before a relationship crumbles before us.
In the grand scheme of things, shared interests determine compatibility. Of course what makes human beings interesting is their diversity. Our differences add flavour to our relationships. Show me a relationship where partners are so similar and I will show you a dull couple.
However, couples should at least have a few similarities such as hobbies, beliefs or values. where they speak with one voice.
A relationship should be built on more than just being with someone we find attractive and they like us back.
We all know those feelings fade so fast and what you found attractive in the beginning loses its appeal. Unless you have other interests to fill the gap left by the waning chemical attraction, that will be the end of that relationship.
There is this common but sad joke that in a traffic jam, the way to identify married couples from those dating is their level of interaction. While the latter are all smiles and chatter, the former are engulfed in an angry silence. There are always exceptions to the rule.
I recently watched the 2018 film Game Night starring Rachel McAdams and Jason Bateman, and while shared interests isn’t the main theme of the film it is a big part of it.
The two shared competitiveness at games, attending game nights and the interests brought them together and further connected them with other couples that liked to do the same. I found that so interesting and was probably the best takeaway from the comedy for me.
A lot of us just sail through relationships adding to our body count without understanding why we keep failing. While I place a lot of importance on someone’s looks, I also want them to be intelligent and well-educated.
Because I am into books, movies and documentaries, I preffer them to be too. I do not want to endure the burden of going through life having to explain myself every time I make reference to a movie or a book.
We all have those interests that take up most of our time; for some it might be the church, politics, the pursuit of and attainment of wealth, activism or sports and it is always great if your partner meets you halfway.
We have all heard or we know relationships that failed because the partner joined politcs or became an activist. Noble as these interests may seem, they consume a lot of time and are often invasive.
Unless someone sees value in their partner running for office, they will be out of that relationship as soon as possible.
In the very least, if your partner does not share your interests they should be able to appreciate and support them. A number of women I know do not understand why their partners are crazy about football.
But they have learned to live with this situation. Some even go as far as faciltating watch parties in their homes for the comfort of their partners.
This expression of appreciation makes their partners comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about their favourite team; although they might never add anything to it, the man feels heard.
What am I saying? You do not have to like the same things but there still needs to be balance between doing your own thing and sharing interests. If you have zero shared interests and nobody is willing to do anything the other person likes, what is the point of the relationship?
