Ewoma Pork Joint offers crudity, lacklustre service

No less than the renowned USA Today magazine has come to acclaim the Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest as being the most prestigious barbecue contest in the world.

 This year’s contest attracted 129 teams across the US and four other countries, with pitmasters facing off in a range of categories from whole hog to tomato sauce to the best booth.

The imaginative names of the teams at this self-proclaimed “Barbecue Super Bowl” ---Health Riles BBQ, Fat side up, The Usual Suspects, The Pork University, Patio Porkers, Sultans of Swine, representing the best of barbecue that have been honing their craft for years and compete for world champion title and a share of the more than Shs558m or $150,000 in prize money.

The contest features championship pork categories of ribs, shoulder and whole hog, as well as the ancillary competitions of hot wings, sauce and anything, but pork nevertheless clearly indicate loud and clear the preferred meat of these grill maestros: pork.

Without a doubt, pork is just about the most ideal meat for making mchomo and grilling. Wonderfully and perfectly blessed with a generous marbling, unlike other meat, pork keeps moist during prolonged cooking, stands up to burning chilies, as well as a host of other species, while at the same time having a full bodied flavour that is never compromised.

According to Dr Ben Lukuyu, a senior scientist and an animal nutritionist, the per capita consumption of pork in Uganda stands at 3.5kg, making Uganda the largest consumer in Africa and second to China, globally.

Interestingly, in spite of the many conspicuous pitfalls that obtain at this joint, one of the most remarkable things about Ewoma Pork Joint is the unbridled consistency of their clientele, who continue to flock there in droves and unfettered, and unfazed, day in and day out.

Where do I begin? The waiting staff are not uniformed on top of which one cannot differentiate between those who serve beverage and food. I have never understood the merit of separating the two. Suffice it to say that is a no brainer and is entirely out of place.

Whereas this factor could be brushed off as being minor, the guys who do the roasting of the meat, calling them chefs would surely be an overstatement and an insult to the profession, are clearly in the open huddled over the roasting pit sans uniforms or headgear and sweating profusely, while they swigger copious amounts of water as they moisten and turn the meat in the stifling and merciless heat, a tough job they do for hours every day.

There is no doubt that over time they have won their spurs as evidenced by the hundreds, who swear by the name of the place, which rightfully so translates into ‘delicious.”

I have often commented that while there is nothing untoward in having an open barbecue pit visible to the public, it is horrifyingly erroneous to position it as though it was an afterthought with scant regard for aesthetic value.

The owners failed to see the wisdom of engaging an architect with a strong bias in designing such establishments, as well as taking on the services of an interior designer. Granted that it is not centred plumb in the middle of the dining area, nevertheless, it is by no means hidden and many end up seeing the crew at work, with beads of sweat over their eyebrows and probably in their armpits. Yikes!

Not to beat a dead horse, right opposite the barbeque pit, is the area where the take away orders are made and once again, the whole hygiene thing is questionable and leaves a lot to be desired. The cabbage for the so called salad is cut by a fellow, who could pass off as being a cleaner, while the ladies who peel the matooke are similarly exposed.

The wonder of it is that regardless of the crudity and lacklustre service that abounds, the faithful devotees unfettered with nary a care. Thankfully all is not doom and gloom at Ewoma. The standard of food is constantly tops and their loos are impeccably clean.

Place: Ewoma Pork.

Address: Rubaga Road, opposite Total Fuel Station.

Smoke-Free Zone: Applicable.

Recommended items: The pork ribs.

Service: Lacklustre.

Ambience: Nothing to write home about .

Open: Seven days a week until late.

Menu: Fresh pork, as well as grilled and fried pork including ribs and chops. Pig trotters and ears. An assortment of sides viz. steamed cassava, matooke, sliced avocado and kachumbari

The Crowd: Ugandans who love to eat pork regardless of the crude and helter-skelter ambience and set up.

The Bar: Soda, beer and mineral water.

The damage: Reasonable and cheap. Shs50,000 will go a long way and leave you with change.

Sound level: Okay.

Rating: Worth a visit.

Parking: Available and very secure.

If you go: They are open every day.

Ratings: Not to be missed, worth a visit, okay/so so, don’t waste your time.