Judith Allen Heard
“Domestic violence forced my parents to part ways and as a child I ended up at my father’s family home in Rwanda where I was raised mainly by my grandmother.
A few years later, my father was killed in the 1994 Rwanda genocide. Life was never easy at all and all my hope was in the hands of my grandmothers and uncles, who lived with us in Kigali.
I still recall that pitched and eerie night as my uncle roughly held my little hands as he ordered me in a condescending voice not to say a word. It was the night to my final exams but nothing was making sense anymore. I was 15 years old.
My desperate decision was to run away from home and that sadly meant I stayed away from the exams. Whereas everything happened in the dark, deep in my mind I believed that the village and school would notice.
My next stop was in Nyamirambo, in Nyarugenge-Kigali, a place that was never easy for a girl at the time. I found solace in karaoke as I traded my husky voice in local bars for tips and sometimes food.
Opening up about sexual harassment is one of the most painful experiences of my life, and it is not easy to talk about the details of what I went through.
What hurts most is that my offender was a relative and this made it hard for me to share with my relatives and a few who learnt about this situation never believed me.
Finding someone to trust with my ordeal was a hardship of its own and that meant that I had to endure the trauma.
The trauma stayed with me for years, affecting my emotional wellbeing and as I tried to seek a new beginning, I was subjected to rape by gunmen in Goma-DRC.
Choosing a new beginning
I am learning to live each day with renewed hope and resilience since I understand that what happened to me does not define who I am and I hope by sharing my story, I can inspire others to seek healing and find their voice.
Growing up was a journey filled with both challenges and blessings. I come from a place where opportunities were not always easy to come by, but it was those early experiences that shaped my strength and determination. Losing my father in the war was one of the toughest parts of my childhood, but it also taught me resilience and the importance of family. Despite the hardships, I always felt a deep sense of purpose, and that inner drive led me to where I am today. I learnt to value every moment and to work hard for the things I believe in.
My upbringing fueled my passion for advocating for the marginalised, especially women and girls, and shaped my faith, which continues to be my foundation. As a grown-up woman, I learnt that I should never allow to be defined by my dark past and I have always chosen to stand for what is right by supporting others. For a long time, I carried the weight of that pain in silence, unsure of how to move forward, but over time and through my faith in God, I am finding strength to heal.
Standing with victims
New media has changed the way things are done and it is upon this background that I leverage on TikTok to hold live sessions to support people who struggle with post-divorce trauma and all forms of sexual harassment. It is evident that people can open up more on personal issues on social media unlike to the police.
What I do is tell the victims to avoid stress and suicide, learn from the events that led to such situations and move on with life. I have equipped myself with knowledge on how to overcome stress and also learnt skills on how to deal with victims. This year, I mark five years of supporting victims of sexual harassment and skilling women and girls to escape sexual harassment under Day One Global initiative. Besides that, for the past 18 years, I have been running the Judith Heard Foundation that also advocates for girls’ rights and recently, climate action. One of our key initiatives is the ambitious goal of planting 50 million trees across Africa to combat climate change by 2050.
We believe that it is not an easy path but we hope that individual partners and government agencies, private companies can join hands with us in this vital mission to protect our planet and secure a sustainable future for the next generation.
To the young girl who looks up to me, remember that you are powerful and capable of achieving greatness, but do not forget to seek Christ in all that you do. His love and guidance will carry you through even the toughest moments. Stay strong in your faith, and let it be the foundation upon which you build your dreams. With Christ by your side, there is nothing you cannot overcome.
Coping after divorce
My journey through divorce has been one of the hardest experiences of my life, but it also brought me closer to God. Turning to Christ four years ago has given me strength and perspective during this time of pain and transformation. My faith has been my foundation, helping me heal and find peace, even when things seemed overwhelming.
I have come to understand that sometimes life breaks us down only to rebuild us into something stronger, and I am grateful for God’s guidance throughout. Looking forward, my greatest joy is raising my children and guiding them to become successful entrepreneurs and leaders in the world.
I want to provide them with the tools, values, and opportunities they need to thrive, and I believe that by nurturing their talents and instilling strong principles, they can go on to make a positive impact on the world. It is a privilege to shape their futures, and I am excited to see them grow into strong, compassionate individuals.”
