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'41 years later we still live by every vow we made'
(L)Janet and Yusto say praying together as a couple is one of the keys to a lasting marriage. PHOTO/Isaac Kasamani
(R) The couple on their wedding day. PHOTOs/courtesy
What you need to know:
Because marriage vows are anchored in the Bible, Janet and Yusto say breaking them is disobedience to God. Being obedient and always praying together, they say, is the main reason their marriage is strong 41 years later.
Prof Yusto Kaawha met Janet in 1980 while she was a teacher of Mathematics at Kabalega Secondary School in Masindi District. At the school, she also served as a patron of the Scripture Union club.
Prof Kaawha, who was a lecturer at Makerere University, would often take part in various activities that included volunteering for the Scripture Union, especially at the weekends when students would participate in conferences.
“We organised a conference and he was among the speakers and this is how we met for the first time,” Janet says, adding that they would later meet at Makerere University.
“Because I had finished my studies and was believing God for a woman to marry, when I saw Janet I knew that she was the one. I, therefore, wrote her a letter asking her to be my wife,” Prof Kaawha shares adding that behind the scenes, he had done his ‘homework’ and knew that Janet was indeed the one he had been waiting for. Janet and Yusto’s relationship was also supported by their uncles who were friends, workmates and Born Again Christians.
After quitting her teaching job, Janet enrolled for a post graduate diploma in Education at Makerere University, making it possible for the lovebirds to spend more time together.
According to Janet, the ticket to her heart was the fact that Yusto was a Born Again christian. In addition, she had always wanted a man who was a scientist and more educated than she was and Yusto ticked all these boxes.
So, when he wrote a letter asking Janet to be his wife, Yusto says he prayed and discussed the matter with Janet’s friends. Thankfully, Janet replied and said yes to his proposal.
Introduction
When Yusto, who had travelled abroad for further studies finally returned to Uganda, plans were set for him to be introduced to Janet’s family in Masindi District. He recalls that together with his uncle, they rode bicycles from his (Yusto’s) home in Hoima City in western Uganda to Janet’s home in Masindi District ( a distance of about 68.1kms).
“In 1981, after telling my parents that I had found the woman I wanted to marry and would like to visit her home and introduce myself to her family, my uncle, who worked in Masindi was asked to accompany me. We found her waiting for us. They cooked a sumptuous meal, we ate and immediately started our journey back to Hoima,” Yusto shares adding that after this, preparations for the formal introduction started.
“I got a small car where my father, my two uncles and I travelled to Janet’s home. While there, we agreed on the bride price at that time referred to as kwelanga” in Bunyoro which was set at Shs20,000,” he recalls.
Wedding
The couple married in 1982 at St Francis Chapel Makerere University and held their reception at Mitchell Hall, Makerere University with the late Bishop Yonasani Rwakaikara as the main celebrant.
“Seeing my father, mother and other relatives at my wedding filled me with joy. The only moment that stressed me was when my other relatives were stopped at a roadblock on their way from Masindi to Kampala and arrived late for the wedding reception,” Janet recollects.
Tips for a lasting marriage
The main Bible verse read on our wedding day was from Psalms 127; 3 to 4. It states, “Unless the Lord builds the house the builders do so in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards keep awake in vain.”
“The Lord has kept us together.” Yusto says, adding that since they made vows, breaking them is a sin before God. The couple says that their marriage has also been strengthened by the fact that they do everything together as a couple.
For example, they say, when they got married, they opened a joint bank account that they have kept open to date. Yusto says that although Janet did not work for a while after they got married, she was free to use the money in the account for home shopping as well as her wellbeing.
Janet says their marriage is made stronger each day because they have purposed to always pray together as a couple.
“For example, in the evening, we read the scriptures, meditate on them and then pray. This time spent together is so vital because we talk and solve any conflict that might have come up during the day.
First year of marriage
Yusto says the first year of marriage was not a walk in the park especially when it came to living together and sharing almost everything.
“I had been single for a long time and was used to doing my things a certain way. I had to learn to consult and consider my wife,” he says.
Janet says Yusto’s love for her has not changed since 1982.
“He has been a good man. It is often said that when the first child comes in, there is competition for love in the family but it was not the case for us. When I was pregnant with our second child, my husband took over the responsibility of taking care of our first born, always giving me enough time to rest” she recalls.
The Kaawha’s are blessed with six children and nine grandchildren.
Challenges
“We faced financial constraints until we came up with a solution. When we started working, we decided all my salary would be current expenditure and hers would be for investments, which included saving to build our current home,” Yusto says.
The couple advises those who want to get married to rely on biblical principles and not what the world teaches today.
“Always pray together and do not be disappointed when challenges come; just present everything to God through prayer and see miracles happen,” Yusto says.
Expect problems in marriage but be ready to learn every day. To be happy, you must trust and obey God,” Janet adds.
