‘He kept me waiting for eleven years’

“Because Juliet would often visit my roommate, we became friends. During one of our many conversations, I confessed my feelings for Irene and asked her to act as a go-between. This worked out perfectly and slowly, Irene and I started meeting,” Andrew says.        

“I had no idea he was interested in me until our school trip to Lake Bunyonyi in Kabale District.  When Andrew and I got an opportunity to spend some time alone, he confessed his feelings for me.  The feeling was not mutual, but I asked that we remain friends as we get to know each other,” Irene says.

Eventually, their friendship blossomed into deep affection and when Andrew expressed his feelings again, Irene agreed but on one condition.  

“As a devoted born-again Christian, I did not want to date for fun. I was looking at the future and this entailed us getting married one day. So, I gave him the contacts of my Senga (paternal aunt) and my elder sister and told him to reach out to them,” Irene says.  

This was a challenge Andrew was prepared to take on and when he met Irene’s family, she was convinced that he was serious and ready to settle down.

“One day, my sister called asking whether I knew a one Andrew who had gone to visit her. I told her why he was there and she was pleased, saying she had liked him for his boldness and commitment towards the relationship,” she recalls.

“She is a devout Christian. I had never attended overnight prayers, but I started attending because of her. On many occasions, there were Kadankes (dances) in other institutions and my friends and I would go. They were always accompanied by their girlfriends but I would be on my own. Although it bothered me, I respected her values,” Andrew says.  

 Andrew graduated in 2011 and Irene in 2012.  A year later, they moved in together and welcomed their first child. The same year, they also held their  ‘kukyala.’

The wait

Irene did not want to have another child out of wedlock and suggested that they have their church wedding as soon as possible. However, Andrew said he was not financially ready.                       

“I had only worked for three years and had not saved much.  Although I wanted to marry her, a wedding was not a priority at the time. My priority was to build a house and establish other sources of income. I knew if my contract at work ended before me achieving this, it would have been a setback,” he says.                                    

The pressure

 “I remember returning home from work one day and Irene gave me a wedding budget. My wife at one point asked that we buy some of the items and keep them. She even bought the maids dresses,” Andrew says.     

However, when he sought advice from his family on whether to go ahead with the wedding plans, his parents told him it was not practical since they were still renting and he did not have a permanent job.  Irene then suggested they simply take their rings to church for a blessing, adding that a wedding reception was not necessary. That suggestion still did not sit well with her husband.

“She comes from an honourable family that I respect deeply, so I could not just buy a bag of sugar and salt and say, here, thank you for your daughter. I also wanted a big wedding to appreciate my beloved wife for sticking with me through thick and thin,” he adds.

Irene decided to let it go until Andrew was ready and the couple had their second child in 2016. 

 “Even when we were not yet legally married, I made sure all the property we acquired was registered in both our names; an assurance that she was part of my family,” Andrew says, adding that to boost their income, he also set up a dairy, which Irene manages. Over the years, the lovebirds have expanded their businesses and say their dream home is in sight. 

Patience pays

In 2022, after Andrew successfully graduated from Makerere University with a Bsc. Petroleum Geosciences and Production, he surprised Irene by announcing their wedding plans. The couple decided to have both the introduction and wedding on the same day since it was cost-effective. With an organised team of close friends, the day was a resounding success.

“People tend to think it is taxing to hold both events on the same day but I disagree. If you have an organised team, it will be a walk in the park,” Irene says.                           

Advice

Andrew and Irene advise young couples not to rely solely on contributions from others for their wedding expenses. Instead, they recommend saving enough money and considering other people’s contributions as supplements.  He also advises young men not to formalise their relationships before attaining financial stability.

Although their wedding took place 11 years after meeting her dream man, Irene cautions women against waiting too long for a man to commit. She acknowledges the fact that not all men will keep their promise as her husband did.

Attributes

When asked why he thought Irene was the one, Andrew says: “She is very honourable, hardworking, prayerful, organised, patient and breathtakingly beautiful.

“We have had our ups and downs but because my wife prays, God has been on our side. We have learnt to communicate, apologise and handle our disagreements without involving third parties,” Andrew says.