‘Our love has overcome every obstacle’

Dorothy feared losing the friendship, especially since Patrick is loving, calm, respectful and very protective. Patrick on the other hand was shy and did not want to mess up his relationship with the most patient woman he had ever met.

At the beginning of 2020, their relationship turned romantic but they stayed so far from each other; with one in Kitebi and the other in Kireka, which are Kampala suburbs and about 16km apart.

The distance was then worsened by the complete lockdown where no public vehicles were allowed to move and boda bodas were not allowed to carry passengers.

“When you have just fallen in love, you cannot control your feelings. I missed him so much and although we would often talk on the phone, it was not enough. I had to devise all means to travel from my home in Kitebi to his residence in Kireka to visit him,” Dorothy says.

During the lockdown, some boda-boda riders would sneak passengers into the city centre although they did this very early in the morning and at a cost three times the normal rate or even higher. There had to be a genuine reason for you to move.

“I was determined to visit him, so I set out at 6am to the road and luckily, I got a random boda boda rider who charged me Shs15,000 from Kitebi to Rubis Petrol Station on Rubaga Road in Kampala. This distance normally costs Shs5,000, depending on your bargaining power,” Dorothy recalls.

From the petrol station, she walked up to Jinja Road near the Bank of Uganda offices and luckily, a random car belonging to the royal guards stopped and one of the gentlemen asked where she was going. 

“From my judgment, the car was ‘legit’ and I knew I would be safe so I got into it since they were going in the same direction. They dropped me in Kireka and continued on their way. The rest of the distance to his place was walkable and when I arrived, he was surprised and asked how I had navigated to his home,” she says.

Since she was still staying with her aunt, Dorothy still had to return home, a journey she paid Shs30,000 for. From that time, their relationship grew stronger and before the year ended, she became pregnant. 

“This was the time we started staying together. I was happy but also scared since I did not know how to break the news to my mother and the rest of the family,” Patrick says.

Anxiety, grieving, work
Six months into the pregnancy, Patrick’s family did not have a clue his girlfriend was expecting. One day, he travelled to their village in Semuto, central Uganda and told his mother about her and the baby they were expecting.

“Keeping that huge a secret had not been easy so, when I finally told my mother, she was so excited and wanted to immediately see her daughter-in-law. She asked for Dorothy’s contact so that she could speak to her. In a few hours, everyone in my family knew about it and they kept calling me,” he recalls.

Time went on and Dorothy asked that Patrick make an official visit to her parent’s home (kukyaala).

However, Patrick was not ready and told her to wait because he wanted an event that was bigger than a mere kukyaala. Besides, she was pregnant and they were just settling down and starting a home, which all needed money.

Unfortunately, their baby died eight months after she was born and a week after the death, Patrick was invited for a long-awaited project in West Africa.

“No parent is strong after the loss of their baby but I had to be strong for her. Although I was hurting from the loss of my baby, work was also calling. It was not easy leaving her behind, but I promised her that when the contract was done, I would return and marry her,” Patrick says.

The days after Patrick’s departure were like hell for Dorothy. They may have stayed in communication but she would have preferred to have him there with her.

Together again
Patrick worked on his project for one and a half years and when it ended, he returned and was reunited with Dorothy in 2023. She then conceived again and they spent the Christmas holiday at his parent’s home.

“After lunch, his family proposed to me and told me to choose a date for my introduction and wedding. It seemed like a dream because I was only asking for a kukyaala,” she recounts.

In January, she started a WhatsApp group where she added all her workmates who contributed towards the two functions. They also had some savings to which their friends and family topped for the success of their wedding.

They had their introduction on May 3, 2024, at Dorothy’s parent’s home in Kitebi and the next day, they tied the knot at Namirembe Cathedral. They entertained their guests at Eve’s Gardens Kireka.   

Best moments
The wedding day for Dorothy was a dream. “I did not know I was going to be his wife after all the things we had gone through. My best moment was when we were exchanging rings.” 

Dorothy also attests to having the calmest and best make-up artist who did subtle but good make-up for her introduction and wedding. Patrick’s best moment was when Dorothy came out of her parents’ house. 

“She looked so beautiful, and it got me emotional,” he says. 
If she had the chance to do her wedding again, she says, “I would hire a different décor person.

She did not bring some of the things she had promised and asked that I pay her the full amount, yet I had booked her for both the introduction and the wedding. The lights she brought went off during the ceremony and for 30 minutes they were not lit,” she says.

Lessons 
To the couple, prayer works miracles in marriage and so, they advise married people to put God first in everything they do. 

They plan together for their family and there is transparency about finances since they both work for the same company. 

Dorothy believes the greatest tool every woman should have in a marriage or even a relationship is patience. 

“If I had pressured him to organise a kukyaala, the relationship would probably have ended. Also, after the death of our baby, I believed he would return for me despite the doubts from other people.”