Bagyenderas bound by unfailing love

Moses Bagyendera and Julian Kobutungi first crossed paths in 1990, at Kigezi High School in Kabale, Western Uganda. 
Julian, was in Senior Five, while Moses, who had completed Senior Six, had landed a teaching gig there during his long vacation. 

Besides her radiant smile and irresistible beauty, Moses, who had served as the school’s Scripture Union chairperson, was fascinated by Julian’s frequent visits to the chapel, which showed commitment to her faith. 
“Instantly, I fell in love with her. Despite the feelings, I chose to keep my affection hidden, because I was a dedicated Christian,” Moses recalls.

To Julian, Moses was a handsome and devoted young man. Her friends consistently described him as someone who was well mannered. With such character, Julian looked no further than him for a husband. 
“Moses had a commendable reputation. This held great significance for me, as I sought to wed a man of integrity who would treat me with kindness. I desired a marriage union grounded on friendship. His had attractive features, which served as a bonus,” expresses Julian.
Even when Moses joined Makerere University, he kept writing letters to Julian, which laid a foundation for their blossoming connection. 

The reunion 
The two reunited while Julian was in her Senior Six long holidays when Moses got involved in preaching programme organised by the Kigezi Anglican Youth Missioners targeting Rukungiri, her home district. 

“While on mission, I took an opportunity to visit Julian’s home. I found myself alone with Julian and as she walked me to the door, I seized the moment and proposed right there in her parent’s compound,” Moses recalls,  adding “that this marked a significant step in our journey.”
 Moses shares that Julian promised to respond after three years when she would be done with her studies at university but she said yes in her first year.
Being Born Again Christians, the two aimed at maintaining their testimony through sexual purity.

“We set boundaries like having most dates in open places, not sleeping over, avoiding long hugs and praying for each other to resist temptations,” says Moses.
The wedding day
 After Julian’s bachelor’s degree, the pair exchanged vows at St Francis Chapel Makerere on February 17, 1996 officiated by Rev Benon Mugarura Mutana.
With financial help from friends, relatives, fellowship members, university alumnus and old friends, Julian and Moses had their reception at Livingstone Hall, with nearly 300 guests.
Since there were no mobile phones, they reached out to people in person to inform them about their wedding as well as mobilise funds. 

“We ensured we only used the raised funds and had no single debt thereafter. We had a modest function with our visitors having chicken, Irish potatoes and samosa in a paper pack along with a drink or two. Dinner was for a few close family members and friends,’’ says Julian. 
Their wedding cake cost Shs100,000, photography (Shs50,000) and decoration was done by friends free of charge.
The couple explains that their wedding day was brightened by the presence of their parents and siblings, numerous speeches from friends and family.

“Both of us embarked on our wedding day with an intention to cherish every single moment. We had patiently waited for the day, preserving its significance, and the excitement was palpable,” Julian recounts.
She adds that despite the modest provisions, the prevailing atmosphere was one of happiness and contentment,.

“Snacks were served in quaint khaki envelopes, which symbolised a simpler yet deeply meaningful way of sharing.”
 While Moses felt a sense of accomplishment as they exchanged vows, Julian had mixed feelings of joy, anxiety, anticipation and gratitude to God.

“The moment was joyous, which left me with a feeling of a complete and fulfilled man. The overwhelming satisfaction I felt that day has lasted throughout my lifetime,” explains Moses.
 The 27 years at a glance

Their initial year was a bliss as they waited to conceive after a year of staying together alone. It was a learning experience where they had to make adjustments, deep understanding of their unique personalities and merging diverse traits from their different backgrounds.
“I am choleric by nature yet Julian is melancholic. However, as we navigated through our differences, we realised the importance of acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of our contrasting personalities,” Moses narrates. 

The approach has since proven beneficial to their relationship over the years, allowing them to grow together while appreciating each other unconditionally. The couple is blessed with three children. 
The arrival of their firstborn strengthened their bond as a couple by jointly sharing responsibilities as they pursued their post-graduate studies in China.

“We had been counselled about the danger of putting all attention on the child and forgetting ourselves as spouses. We had no househelps, so we all got involved in raising our son, which was instrumental in ensuring that none of us feels left out,” says Julian.
Moses shares, “My marriage expectations have been remarkably fulfilled. Her dedication extends even to our children, showcasing her commitment as a loving mother.”
“My commitment, dedication, and respect for him grows each day. We have faced challenges and overcome them, emerging even more refined than before,” Julian reveals. 

How they overcame  challenges
During the couple’s first year of marriage, Moses got a scholarship to go to China for a three-year Masters in IT course with no hope of visiting in between, an offer that, Julian vehemently resisted.
“I then told the embassy that unless I was allowed to go with my wife, I was withdrawing from the scholarship, a proposal the embassy adhered to. This was after Julian sought guidance and counselling from my best man,” Moses recalls.

Secrets to their unity
The Bagyenderas exemplify a spirit of entrepreneurship, engaging in beekeeping, commitment to environmental stewardship. 
Their diverse endeavours further extends to ownership of  rentals. The two are also marriage counsellors, demonstrating their commitment to nurture healthy relationships.
Their marriage is laid on the foundation of personal relationships with Christ and commitment to vows while mutual respect continues to be their pillar.