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Customary Vs Religious: which marriage is more acceptable?
A couple at their customary marriage ceremony referred to as kwanjula in Buganda. A customary marriage is a legal marriage and the couple can apply for a marriage certificate at the Sub-county where it was conducted.
What you need to know:
Hard talk. When it comes to marriage, people’s expectations of significance of customary and religious marriage differ. And sometimes the differences leave casualties in the form of a couple who in most cases are only looking at legalising their union, writes Racheal Irene Nalubega.
Catherine (not real name), is one of the many devout Christians. Aside from being part of the congregation at church on Sundays, she has earned herself a ministerial position in her church.
Her position, of course, comes with responsibility and expectation from church leaders and brethren.
All had been well until last year when she and her boyfriend held an introduction ceremony, commonly known as kwanjula, and started living together as husband and wife.
Unknown to Catherine, this was not in line with church principles and would therefore cause the congregation to question her morals as a minister in church.
The church elders and pastors advised the couple against staying together despite customary marriage being legally recognised by the laws of Uganda.
And although the couple’s families had blessed the union, the pastors reasoned that customary marriage is not recognised by God.
As such, Catherine and her husband are living together, and have for the last five months not entertained visitors for fear of being discovered and reported to church leaders.
The battle between religious and customary marriages is one that has been fought for long. Debates about the same don’t seem to end.
To some couples, choosing a customary marriage first guarantees blessings from the couple’s families whereas a religious marriage means God, too, has blessed their union.
Most people, therefore, argue that the significance of both blessings cannot be overlooked and choosing one leaves the other pending.
Logic explained
Francis Okweda, a relationships counsellor and creator of “The Sober Love Test”, a relationship tool that helps you choose the right partner, says: “Every tribe, nationality or ethnicity tends to have their own cultural practices. The church also has a culture that consists of the values that represent God’s kingdom. It is imperative to note that not all that is cultural outside the church is contrary to God’s word.”
“For most cultures, what they consider as marriage is complete in itself. What has come to be called the introduction ceremony (kwanjula) or okuhingira in Ankole is actually a complete marriage - customary. The marriage conducted by the government, is a marriage as well – civil. That conducted by church or mosque is a marriage too – religious,” Okweda says.
He adds that the challenge is that those who subscribe to each of these marriages tend to consider the others incomplete.
“That is why if you only do the customary marriage, some in the church might consider you unmarried and simply engaged,” Okweda says.
Expenses a hindrance
Today’s marriage ceremonies have become expensive and too demanding, especially for a young couple who, like Catherine and her husband, only want to have a legal union.
Many people do not value a marriage that doesn’t come with an expensive ceremony.
Okweda says people should overlook expenses because a church marriage, for instance, only needs the couple, a pair of witnesses, and a pastor to bless it.
What scriptures say
But Michael Ssimbwa, a senior pastor at Mityana Church of Christ, says Christians have moved past customary to church marriage.
“Though most marriages in the Bible such as Isaac and Rebecca’s in Genesis 24 are traditional, the fact that they were recognised by God should not be overlooked. Even the first marriage between Adam and Eve though it had no function like most marriages nowadays was recognised by God. Therefore, His role in today’s marriages should not be overlooked,” Ssimbwa says.
Often during a church marriage, reference is made to Mark 10:9 which forbids anybody from separating that which God has joined.
“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” This shows the church marriage is conducted according to God’s directives.
What the law says
According to Daniel Angualia, a commissioner for oaths and a notary public at Angualia Busiku & Co. advocates, once a marriage has been contracted within the law, the rights that accrue to the couple during the marriage and in dissolution of the marriage are the same.
“It does not matter how the marriage was contracted, whether civil, customary or church or Islamic marriage,” he says.
He notes that some people contract customary marriage according to woman’s customs and after some time contract religious marriage.
Angualia adds that legally, the subsequent religious marriage only makes the marriage monogamous and nothing else.
On people who contract civil marriage before the registrar and proceed for religious union, Angualia says the subsequent marriage is of no legal consequence but a waste of time and money since both marriages are monogamous.
He says a religious marriage is also part of a civil marriage, however, it is the church leader who officiates the function on behalf of the State.
“A church must be licensed before it can conduct legally recognised marriages. Couples intending to get married in a given church should inquire if the church of their choice can legally wed them.”
Existing legal marriages
There are two legal marriages; Customary and Civil marriage. The Civil marriage can be divided into marriage conducted before the Registrar, Church and Mosque. According to the law, each of the different kinds of marriages come with a marriage certificate as evidence of marriage but only differentiated by what they uphold. Contrary to what many people think, Customary marriage is a legal marriage and the couple can apply for a marriage certificate at the Sub-county where the customary marriage was conducted. Having just a customary marriage or just a church marriage is legal by law despite some differences as Angualia says.
“Customary marriages are polygamous since they allow for one to introduce as many women as they wish to their family unlike Civil and Church marriage which is monogamous since the law permits one man one woman.”
