Has he finally developed romantic feelings for me?

Mark and I have been friends since childhood. Ours is the kind of friendship where he is the first person I call when I have a problem since I can tell him anything. However, about two years ago, I started having romantic feelings for him, but I kept this to myself because, to him, we were just friends. Recently, though, Mark has gone out of his way to treat me like a queen. He even booked a fully paid staycation for me for three days. He sends me flowers every day and gifts every so often. Is he finally feeling the same way about me that I do about him? Please advise before I do or say something stupid.

Gloria

The awkward thing about liking a friend is that you never want to admit it. There is a lot more at stake if you tell them than if you admit your feelings to someone you randomly just met. You could lose an entire friendship and for that reason, you need to learn how to tell if a friend likes you. Sounds hard? Not really. There are many signs a friend likes you, it is just that you are not aware of them right now.

Of course, it is also really scary simply because there is a possibility of them liking you back, or not. You are friends already, after all.

That being said, sometimes it is easier to sit back and figure out if your friend likes you before you can make a move. Do they not always say you should marry your best friend?

Sometimes the best relationships out there are built off a friendship, as they should be. However, sometimes you meet someone and just click with them on a much stronger level.

Others you form friendships with and slowly realise you like them more than a friend. It can be a pretty terrifying thing but if you know how to tell if your friend likes you, you can make a move and end up in the best relationship of your life.

When you suspect a friend likes you romantically, it is probably because you like them or because you are afraid of how to reject them while still maintaining your friendship. So, you need to look for the signs a friend likes you to understand the real situation.

So, while you are trying to find the signs, consider what you are going to do about it once you figure it out.

Are you going to make a move? Are you going to tell them how you feel? Should you ask them about it? Or are you going to let them down easy?

We say, that if you are not interested, sometimes it is better not to know. You cannot worry yourself about something that may not even exist. Focus on the friendship. That is your main priority with this friend. If something happens, later on, deal with it then.

But if you are interested, you probably will not be able to stop worrying and thinking about the signs a friend likes you romantically because you want them to. In this case, look for the signs. They can lead to your first move.

You have your answer on how to tell if a friend likes you now, or at least you have a much clearer idea of whether your friend is crushing on you or not. So, what should you do now?

That depends on how sure you are and how you feel in return. If you like them back, perhaps you could start showing signs back to them and see if they pick up on them.

Or, you could sit down and talk about it, but that does are not keen on them in the same way, should you ignore it and hope it goes away or talk to them about the problem?

You could try the first option for a while and if it does not work and they become more persistent, gently tell them that your friendship is far too important to you to risk.

READER ADVICE

Do not rush anything

Evelyn Namakula. I would advise you to go slowly and know if his intentions for you are indeed love. Otherwise, many people cry because of heartbreaks they initiated themselves. At times a man’s care is misinterpreted to be love yet to them, it is just that. Do not rush into anything. Take time to know his intentions for you and also regardless of the outcome of his actions, have self-control.

Do not pursue a man

Dorothy Mukisa. However much you feel tempted and attracted to him, do not pursue a man. Remember, we are Africans and in our culture, it does not settle well in a man’s heart to be pursued by a woman. You may end up destroying a beautiful friendship because not many people have been able to get beautiful romantic relationships out of friendships. I wish you well.

Reject his advances

Moses Mugabo. This is the beginning of your downfall when it comes to any relationship with him. You should be the one discouraging any attempts of romance and instead, maintain the friendship since having such a genuine friend is also not easy. If you persist, you will soon see each other as enemies, especially when thing do not work out between the two of you.

Let him take the lead

Phoebe Miriam. You cannot play cheap by pursuing a man. Let him be the one to express his love for you first.

Help him along

Praise Alex. He is taking baby steps for fear of rejection. Help him move forward.

One day at a time

Prince Mbewe. Calm down until he confesses his love for you. You both have feelings for each other and he is showing his by sending you flowers and gifts. Wait and take one day at a time.

He knows you well

Jude Woods. The best relationships are those that begin with friendship and convert into something more. It is a challenge not to fall for someone who knows you inside out. Who understands your inner most core. Who can finish your sentences. Who does not need words to get what you are going through. Who is always there for you. Who supports you. Who loves you and accepts you for who you are.

Take the risk

Dorothy Nambi. Here is the thing about best friendships that turn into relationships; it will either be the best relationship of your life, or you will lose that person forever. It is a 50-50. The risk is yours to take.

Talk to him

Pretty Owens. Talk to him about it. If you do not tell him, he will know there is something you are hiding, being your best friend; not to mention it will kill you inside.

Evelyn Khorono Lufafa is a counselling psychologist with Sermotherapy Counselling Foundation