Prime
How to deal with ghosting
What you need to know:
Recognise that not every situation in life requires closure
When you look up the word ghosting online, what comes up is a brief description stating that this is a colloquial term used to describe the act of ending a personal relationship by suddenly withdrawing all communication without any explanation.
Ghosting has become all too popular among millennials. Even though we pride ourselves on the ability to communicate and communicate with clarity, there is a large majority that cannot communicate at all. We are gone at first disagreement and at the foothills of any minor inconvenience.
I could defend this and say, if it does not work for you leave it (that would be the millennial in me speaking without thought) but we give very little thought to the other person who has to deal with the emotional weight of being ghosted with no explanation. And for the many that have been ghosted, there is no handbook to guide you and tell you what to do when something like this happens.
I try to keep these articles as objective as possible, so I include as little personal experience as possible but as someone who has been ghosted before and been guilty of ghosting someone, I cannot help but shed more insight on this matter.
I never in my life (and I am not bragging here) thought that there are people who would consider ghosting me, whether as a friend or potential love interest. I was very out of touch with how strange some people could be and how not everyone is as efficient a communicator as I am.
And as such, it required much adjustment; I did not understand how someone (an adult) could behave in such a way; Just remove themselves from my life as though they did not exist. I had no idea how to unpack it and to my knowledge, no one I knew had been ghosted before. So, I had no one to ask for advice about it.
Call it bad judgment, but I would say because hurt people hurt people, I then ghosted the next person, simply because I could and because I wanted someone to feel what I was feeling. I never try to justify it and I apologised to this person and gave proper explanation as to my disappearance. I was not interested in them and did not see it working out beyond a friendship and because I had just recently been ghosted, I thought this was an appropriate step in ending any relationship pursuits.
Eventually, I was able to patch up the tiny wound being ghosted had caused. I accepted my feelings and hurt and processed them.
I had to tell myself that being ghosted had nothing to do with me but rather everything to do with the other person’s inability to communicate and execute their feelings or lack thereof.
Recognise that not every situation in life requires closure. Do not try to look for that person to explain why they felt the need to leave your life the way they did. They are also entitled to handle their affairs as they see fit, even if it might be at the expense of your feelings.
Once you have grasped that, dust yourself off and keep it moving like the king or queen you are.
