Prime
I sometimes bathe my wife – Pastor Kyazze
Pastor Michael Kyazze and his wife Christine have been happily married for 28 years.
Photo by Christine Katende
What you need to know:
Forever love. “You will forever be mine. I will give you everything that I own.” Those are the words Pastor Michael Kyazze of Omega Healing Centre and his wife Christine, a finance manager, said to one another on their wedding day at Namirembe Cathedral 28 years ago. The couple, who have braved the ups and downs of marriage, have five children, two boys and three girls. As they make 28 years in love, they shared their love story.
Her story
How did you meet your husband?
We actually went to the same primary school (old Kampala Primary School) though he was a class ahead. I hardly knew anything about him. However, I one time bumped into him as I went to fetch water, him being a bully (then), he provoked me to greet him as I passed by their home. Going to the well became a routine that he got interested in helping me carry the jerrycans until he proposed friendship and later announced his marriage interests. I had only one condition which was for him to wait until when I finished school.
So was there time to study each other?
Yes, his mother would sometimes arrange visits with an intention of us meeting. I think she also liked me. In the process we fell in love and being at school elongated our courtship which lasted for six years during which we abstained from sex.
What are those unique characteristics that eventually pulled you closer to him?
I had always asked God to give me a trustworthy and God-fearing man. He was that and loving and handsome.
Do you remember the type of gown you wore on your wedding day?
I remember wearing a pure white long-sleeved but simple gown that was paid for by my late mother-in-law.
What most interesting thing do you remember on your wedding?
Apart from having my husband by my side, I loved it when my dear father walked me to the altar.
What is the secret behind the 28 years of marriage?
I am patient, creative, understanding, hardworking, loving, forgiving, prayerful and encouraging to my husband. Most of all I ignore non issues with love thus avoiding stress.
What have been your big challenges in the time you have been married?
Apart from finances which we manage differently, other challenges have been minor and God has always seen us through.
How do you deal with marital challenges?
Initially, I would ignore and maybe pray about them, but I later realised that letting my husband know about his mistake was better. So, we normally talk about whatever happens with love.
How does it feel being married to a pastor?
Apart from the missions we go to, my heart has always been at peace. I am never worried of him cheating on me. We trust each other.
His story
How did you meet your wife?
I was only 19 when I saw her but the actual meeting was in 1981 in Mengo, Bulange on Ssentema Road where we used to stay. Christine was carrying a jerrycan on her way to the well and I stopped her. I accompanied her to the well and volunteered to carry her jerrycan. In the process I asked her to become my friend and I would see her always since we were neighbours.
How long was your courtship?
It took long since we were still in school. It was about eight years.
How did you ask her to marry you?
It was informal. I just told her that I wanted her to be my future wife during those times I accompanied her to the well.
What excited you most about her?
Her beauty, smile, kindness and God-fearing personality.
Where and when was your wedding ceremony held?
It was at Namirembe Cathedral on April 16, 1988. It was presided over by the Rev Badde Okwaya and we used Kyambogo University hall for the reception.
How did you plan for your big day? (Did you have meetings?)
I had meetings for a month. We could meet every Friday. We formed a committee of about 20 people to guide us. We deposited money on everything such as reception venue, salon among other things. The coordination between the two families and friends was smooth.
Where did you go for your honeymoon?
We went to Fairway Hotel in Kampala and we paid Shs3,000 per night.
What has kept your marriage strong all these years?
I have loved and cherished my wife, take care of her, given her a peace of mind, support and courage. I also love and take care of the children.
What special thing do you do for your wife always?
I make the bed every morning and sometimes bathe her.
What have been your big challenges during the time you have been married?
I would talk about parenting, communication in a home and managing finances, but we have always worked together and also budget and account for the funds.
How do you solve marital problems?
I normally pray over them, talk it over with my wife or share with my best man if need be.
How many children do you have?
They are five, Jacqueline, Caleb, Nathan, Jemimah and Geraldine. I love them all.
What advice would you give young couples intending to get married?
Learn and understand your partner very well so that you don’t settle for a wrong person.
What is the secret to the 28 years in marriage?
Love, faithfulness and submission, with Christ Jesus amidst everything.
Tips for marriages that last
Marriage is one of the universal institutions that every adult can get excited about whenever mentioned. One wonders why today’s marriages are ending up in divorce or separations at alarming rates! Global statistics indicate that 40 per cent of the first marriages end up in divorce. In fact, there are more divorce cases today in family court, more complaints at family and child police protection units across the country than before.
As a counsellor the cases under my dockets have been popularised by marital conflicts. However, the numbers preparing to get married are even more than the challenges in there. The big question is how do we keep the Golden ring and bond in our marriages?
How do you communicate to each other?
Communication is an area that couples need to learn. You don’t need to win an argument in order to make your point heard but be considerate of personality, timing, environment, mood and content before you communicate. This doesn’t mean you can avoid disagreements because these are healthy.
Does every day bring joint positive lessons?
Let every aspect of your marriage bring commitment for both of you to learn more positive attitudes and accept each other. You don’t have to show superiority because marriage is a relationship of two adults.
Do you reflect on your contributions?
Marriage requires that everyone takes time to find out how much each of you is contributing to the companionship. Is it positively or negatively? Remember that it’s the tiny threads that sew a marriage over a period of time.
Do you have healthy conjugal moments?
Remember this is the primary goal of getting married. You don’t have to have sex for the sake of it. It must be good enough to satisfy your partner. Explore from each other your hot driving gears that turns into pleasure. Otherwise someone else could do it for you.
Is there commitment to the marriage?
There will always be ups and downs but how much commitment do you have to work on the marriage? Did you understand the meaning of the vows? How much resilience do you have to endure hard times?
Have you considered having skills training to boost your personal growth?
You may need skills such as self-esteem building, being assertive, problem solving, conflict resolution, anger management and others just to ensure that you are on track. -Ali Male, head of
counselling YWCA
