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My girlfriend tested HIV positive

Dear Heart To Heart, I am 26 and have been dating my agemate for four years. Recently, I realised she has been cheating on me with a married man who she had earlier told me was an uncle. We took an HIV test. She tested positive but I was negative. It is now four months and I am still negative. But the problem is we are still relating and I am afraid she might infect me. I have not told my friends or family about my situation yet. We also run a business and she is the majority shareholder. How do I leave her and start on my own?
Kris

Melvin Nasasira. If you love her, you should find a place in your heart to forgive her and still pursue the relationship. She should, however, be willing to offer the same commitment to the relationship. There are ways you can be a couple without getting infected. You need to visit a hospital with her so she can be enrolled for anti-retroviral therapy and they will tell you how to carry on your sexual relationship without getting infected.

Byanzi Juma. Tell her it’s over between you and that giving her your share of the business should not be a problem. I advise you to run as far away from that fiasco as soon as possible.

Bright Francis. As long as you have good health, you will do more than that business. You are more afraid of the business than your life, brother. Stop complicating your life she is a liar and a cheater, look forward to plan B.

Julie PN. So you value business more than your life? It’s a healthy person who makes money. You’ll start your own business. You should be open to her and move on.

Aciro Mercy Lukwiya. Life has no spare parts. She might be the first but she is never the last. Leave the business with her because you can still get another way of earning a living. She didn’t care about your love by cheating. Leave her alone.

Snogy Adamz. My dear brother it’s easy to make money however, life is irreplaceable. Take note of that and leave that cheater and share proceeds from the business and then find your own way!
Nankunda Chally. If I were you, I would not compromise my life with wealth because God has a reason why you are not infected yet she is. Be so grateful to God who never lies than to your girlfriend.

Gastone Niyonzima
You discovered that she was cheating on you and as if that was not enough you found out that she is HIV positive but you continue dating her? Be honest to yourself, the big share she has in that business where do think she got the money from other than the man you are complaining about?

Counsellor Evelyn Kharono Lufafa from Suubi Medical Centresays:
Treat your health as priority

Dear Kris, it is indeed sad that you have gone through such a tough situation. Having dated intimately for four years leaves a strong attachment between the two of you.

You have to deal with several issues such as pain of being cheated on, fear of HIV and how to share the joint property.

At the moment you need to start with what is most key and that is your health. It is good you tested negative but you are still relating. You need to go together to any health facility for how you can stay safe with a positive partner and also stick to condoms at all cost.

Cheating on you leaves the pain of feeling betrayed and it would be good for you two to sit and analyse your relationship. Talk about the issues at hand and look at your relationship since the past five years then make an informed decision.

As for property, you both need to seek legal advice. However it is good to stay in a relationship because you truly love the individual but not because of acquired property since this can be got through hard work. Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka

Next week’s issue
Earlier this year our brother started dating a woman who looked rich with several businesses. But our brother changed and all his projects have stalled. He was building a house near completion but for months he has not added anything and at the same time he has withdrawn all the assistance to us.

While this is happening, this woman’s businesses are expanding. It looks like she is sucking money from our brother like rumours claim she did in her previous relationship. We have talked to our brother about this but he seems blinded by love. What should we do?
C. UMARI

Write to us
Do you have any relationship problems and need advice? Please write to [email protected]
Answers to all questions are provided by readers and, where necessary, cross-checked with competent psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists and other experts in related professions.