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Prioritising your bond in the social media age
What you need to know:
- By recognising the curated nature of online content and focusing on the genuine strengths of your own relationship, couples can build stronger, more fulfilling connections.
It is easy to fall into the comparison trap where constant exposure to carefully curated online lives can lead to unrealistic expectations and unnecessary strain on relationships. However, by recognising the curated nature of online content and focusing on the genuine strengths of your own relationship, couples can build stronger, more fulfilling connections.
William Katongole, a psychologist, says sometimes, dissatisfaction may not stem from the relationship itself, but from individual insecurities and desire to impress others. He advises couples to shift their focus from what they lack to what they cherish in their relationships.
“Gratitude practices and acknowledging each other’s strengths can help build a deeper connection. Taking walks together can also be a powerful way to step away from screens and appreciate the present moment with your partner,” he says.
Sarah Komugisha, a social media expert, says it is crucial for couples to establish a mutual understanding about their digital presence and know that open communication is key.
“No relationship is perfect and what we see on social media is often a carefully selected glimpse into someone’s life. It is important to remember that we do not see the full picture. Challenging these assumptions can help us gain a more balanced perspective. Remmber that they too face challenges and imperfections,” says Komugisha.
Martin Kaweesi and Marion Akello, who have been married for a while, share their experience of drifting apart as a result of social media. Kaweesi confesses to spending too much time on social media, ignoring his wife.
However, through open communication and shared activities, they reignited their connection.
Katongole emphasises the importance of setting clear boundaries through discussing how much screen time is acceptable, and when it is off-limits.
James Alinaitwe and Maria Kebirungi’s long-distance relationship was put to the test by social media’s comparison game. During their time apart, they had to learn not to compare their lives with others but concentrated on appreciating the uniqueness of their own story.
Hellen Mirembe, a marriage and family therapist, observes that the comparison trap on social media often stems from feelings of inadequacy.
“Couples must remember that what they see online is a highlight reel,” she advises. This realisation can be liberating, allowing partners to appreciate their own unique journey.
According to www.self.com, these tips can help couples appreciate their relationships:
Cause of the insecurity.
If you truly feel like you are missing something, you can address that directly. For example, is the problem really that you have not posted enough cute pictures together? Or is it stemming from your desire to impress your followers? Do you actually want to move in together all of a sudden, or are you feeling pressured to measure up to all your cohabitating friends?
When we are not happy with ourselves or satisfied with where we are in life, we tend to project that into our partnerships, so an important first step is to evaluate whether the relationship is really what is making you feel empty.
If you establish what the issue is, you can focus on building self-confidence on your own or with a therapist and learn to accept who and where you are in life, which will make you less inclined to seek validation or approval from others.
Behind closed doors
Do not let money or facial symmetry fool you because no relationship is perfect. Not even the super attractive, wealthy and smiley couples you see on social media are in a constant state of bliss.
It is not usual to post videos of arguments or pictures of your partner’s messy kitchen habits on social media platforms. As you may choose to only share cute and cuddly selfies during happy moments, it is possible that even the social media lovers do the same.
Appreciate what you have
Always remember why you are dating your person in the first place and what you are grateful for. When you get too caught up in comparing your relationship to others, you are likely to focus on what you do not have, so it is especially important to be thoughtful about appreciating what you have.
Separate the superficial
Wanting is natural and we experience this in wanting what we cannot have and wanting things other people have that might be superfluous or superficial. For example, you might suddenly desire a nicer car just because your neighbours upgraded theirs. Or perhaps you are measuring your relationship against pop-culture-driven ideas of what true love looks like.
Determining what is actually important to you can keep you from dwelling on the relatively inconsequential things.
Unfollow accounts
You cannot exactly avoid close friends just because you envy their relationships. But when it comes to influencers who may be complete strangers on the internet or even casual acquaintances, do not be afraid to disconnect, if you are someone who struggles with social media comparison.
Do not open your phone right away in the morning, for example, or even temporarily mute their profiles so you are not being interrupted with notifications.
Talk to partner
If you feel like your relationship is lacking or is not satisfying your needs, sit down and talk to them about it.
Talking things out will not necessarily help you avoid a breakup if you are ultimately not on the same page, but rather than obsessing over what could be better, you can dedicate your time and energy to improving your current situation.
