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The first time we met, I lied about everything
Milly and Robert say every day, you must both purpose to do something that betters your relationship. PHOTO/courtesy
What you need to know:
At a birthday party, Milly did not want to dance with Robert, a stranger and opted to sit down. However, Robert noticed this and joined her. To discourage him from picking any more interest in her, she lied about everything, including where she lived. She was surprised to one day see a determined Robert at her hostel door. Five years and two children later, the couple are as happy as can be.
Milly Nassolo and Robert Tumushabe Kikomeko met at a birthday party in March 2013. At the time, Milly was in her first year at Makerere University while Robert had just graduated.
“I had been invited to a friend’s birthday party and Robert was among the guests. At the time of the dance, Robert and I had no dance partners and this is how our story begins,” Milly says.
Feeling uncomfortable dancing with a stranger, Milly decided to sit down. However, Robert joined her and started a conversation.
The lies
Milly says when she realised that Robert was bent on having a conversation, she decided to talk to him but to every question he asked, she would answer with a lie. Milly says on that day, the two never exchanged phone numbers and since she had lied about her place of residence, she never expected to see Robert again.
“I was surprised when a few weeks later, with the help of my best friend, he showed up unannounced at my hostel door. To say I was embarrassed is an understatement,” Milly says.
“This time, we engaged in an honest conversation, which helped us appreciate our values and shared dreams, which birthed our relationship. Four years later, we held our introduction ceremony and got married on July 16, 2016. Today, we are parents to two beautiful children.
No room for obstacles
The couple say their happiness has been built on appreciating each other, no matter the circumstances. Milly says over the years, they have learnt each other’s weaknesses, strengths and imperfections. For Robert, his goal in this marriage is to avoid blame games but rather focus on offering solutions.
“We choose to blame less, and appreciate more. We know that none of us is perfect and that is okay. We come from different tribes and backgrounds, we were both raised differently so we know that we may never understand why we do some things or behave a certain way,” he says.
Milly adds that their relationship is more of a companionship than a partnership and that is what makes them special. She adds that Robert is her biggest fan and vice versa.
Moving forward, the couple runs projects where the husband is the director. Milly says she is comfortable with this arrangement saying that being his partner at work has helped her to know him better as a person.
Parenting
Milly and Robert have different categories of children, biological, foster, and spiritual and they apply Godly principals, focusing mostly on love, humility, morals and character.
The couple believes that parenting is a learning process. Robert says they learn something new every day since every child is different and special in their own way.
Love wins
Milly says Robert compliments her every day, a habit he has kept since the early days of their marriage.
“On our wedding day, one of our friends gifted us a book, called ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Garry Chapman. We used our honeymoon to read this book together and one of the most important lessons we learnt from it is to always have words of affirmation or compliment your spouse,” she adds.
She notes that much as hurdles might come in one way or the other, since the couple argue, disagree, but because of the love and respect they have for each other, they focus on companionship.
“Communicating, praying together and accepting each other’s faults are the key principals that have helped us to overcome many challenges that we face in everyday life and above all, loving each other,” she adds.
Advice
Robert, a pastor, says in marriage, you will grow from dating, to committing, to newlyweds, to parents, to grandparents. Such situations are subject to change and whoever fails to accept the change that comes with different levels, will fail.
The couple say although there are many hurdles, one should never stop trying. Every day, you must both purpose to do something that betters your relationship.
“Purpose to do things that bring you happiness and never stop dating.
