The girls shunned him for his dreads, then he met her

When did love first make meaning to you?
When I realised the sacrifice my mother made to make sure we are well. She worked two jobs, day and night. She would spend every little coin to buy yoghurt or cake for us instead of buying something for herself. She walked from town when she could have taken a taxi home, just to save that little money. She would stay awake waiting on a mosquito to come down so that it does not bite her children. That is love.

What lessons do you pick from your mother?
Well, I try to be selfless. I catch myself in moments where selflessness is required and I try.

Who do you show these acts of selflessness?
Mustaque, Pendo, my mother, sisters and brother.

What do you like about Mustaque?
He is very charming. He charmed me into liking him. He is a spoiler. He will go out of his way to do so much - buy me things, take me places. He is mostly selfless. He is a great lover. He loves Jah (God). He is kind, generous, very caring and he is hot, Oh and funny. He has his fair share of cracking me up.

What convinced you to open up your heart to him?
He was so open and he really hunted me down…he he he. But for real, I just felt at peace with him and I know it is God’s lead.

What do girls enjoy about being chased?
It is good because it makes us feel wanted and adored.

What is the best way to a girl’s heart?
Give her quality time and make her feel special.

What does he do to make you feel special?
He takes me out, tries to find out how my day was and advises me a lot on work and other things. He also likes buying me gifts.

How do you make him feel special in return?
I always ask how his day was, join him to watch a movie, listen to his work stories, cook for him, and he enjoys when I do that. I also plan to take him out.

What is his favourite meal?
He enjoys chicken and rice.

How do you cook it differently?
That is my secret

Ha ha ha, what kind of outings do you enjoy together?
We enjoy eat outs, we used to do movies but it has been a while. Nowadays what I do is mostly join him with my girls at Kayembe (there is a mango tree at Magic parking where Alice, Mustaque hang out with friends) to have a hot mug of porridge.

How much do you share about finances as a couple?
All of it. We are very open with our finances, spending and savings.

How relevant is this to you as a couple?
I think finances cause a lot of trouble if there is no openness and so one can only assume. It just happened that Mus was open and I was encouraged to open up too.

How do you plan for your finances?
We budget.

How important is openness in a relationship?
Very important, be it with finances or emotions, when you are stuck. Do not keep things to yourself.

Have you faced challenges as a couple?
Every couple faces challenges, differences in backgrounds and upbringing. We sometimes see or understand things differently. The way to go is to appreciate this fact and always try to balance.

What challenges do you face as a couple?
Eh, nga that might be a little too much info to give but we always talk about the issue when we are calm.

What would you say has held your relationship together?
Friendship, trust, faithfulness, and the love of God.

What advice would you have for other young couples?
I advise them to build their relations on friendship.

How important is friendship in a romantic relationship?
Friendship is a base. Sometimes romance fades and friendship is what keeps you happy. Then because you are friends, it is easy to rekindle the romance.

How do you rekindle the fire when the romance fades?
We talk about the way we both feel, discuss ways to make it burn again. We spend time together and do outings. He surprises me with gifts, spends time with my family and friends.

Dedicate three songs to Mus…
She’s Royal by Tarius, there’s this song by Ed Sheraan… (Thinking Out Loud), Breath again by Toni Braxton.

What message do you have for Mus?
Mus, I love and hold you dear to my heart. May God shower you with loads of blessings!

His story

Who was your ideal woman before you started dating?
Okay this is a funny one. Of course, like any other man growing up, the magazine girls caught my attention but then as I gained experience in the dating game, I started getting to know girls. I zeroed down to wanting a girl who would love me just the way I am.

Did anyone, like your sisters, give you some pointers?
Well, my sisters are the kind who will let you date a girl you think makes you happy. If they notice you are not happy, they will start poking their noses in my business.

What was your experience like, trying to find love?
I definitely learnt so much and today I am happy because of those experiences. Every family out there wants their daughter to date that ‘successful’ boy from a good family, one who has a good job, dresses nicely and is religious. My dreadlocks were always an issue when it came to dating.

What is the people’s perception?
Those who do not know me think that I smoke weed, drink and have no job.

Are you Rastafarian?
I love the Rastafarian way of life, and I am slowly working to get there.

What do you admire about Rastafarians?
The constant reminder to love each other without regard to race, love nature and the pan African spirit, not forgetting to give thanks and praise to the most high, Jah Rastafari.

Yeah man. What does Rastafarianism say about intimacy?
The way we love God is constant. We stay true to His teachings and the rules of the holy books which teach us to love one another. Love all things as creations of God. Our relationship is about love, understanding and communication. This is the basis for a good, healthy bond.

Does Alice understand and appreciate these Rastafarian values?
Yes, she does. That is why we are together.

What did you like or admire about her?
Her beautiful smile, she is tall, humble and I had a feeling since she has dreadlocks we can be judged together…ha ha ha. Do you notice that she does not “write” on her face? She is natural all the way - mother Africa.

Do you like her external or internal beauty?
Of course, it all started from the outer beauty that attracted me, then as we got to know each other more and better, more things appeared.

When and how did you meet?
Oba when? Eh, let me first call her and ask… she doesn’t remember when either, but we first met at the Kampala Serena Hotel. She was with Steve Jean. (music producer).

What happened when you lay your eyes on her?
Well, I was first struck by how she looked; so beautiful without any make-up. You know I am a camera operator, so I see so much detail than any ordinary person. Her natural beauty along with her smile knocked me over.

What physical features drowned you about her?
Height, dark complexion, ‘roots look’ dreadlocks and smile.

What did you tell her to soak her heart in your love?
I was just me and kept being me and will always be me, so no pretence.

Who is Mustaque?
Mustaque is a simple man from a family of five. I have been raised mostly by my lovely Mom, Teopista Nansamba Mulindwa. I spent some years in Kenya, went to school there and only returned in 1986. I continued studies in Uganda. Along the way, I have built great relationships.

What values did your mother instil in you that have shaped you into the man you have become?
Respect for women, and to work hard to have whatever I desire in life. She taught me to give thanks and praise to the most high.

What things do you do to keep the flame burning in your relationship?
We always try to talk about pressing issues and we have those little two girls that keep us going.

How do your children bring you close?
The beauty of raising them together and doing a lot of stuff together; outings and playing games. For example, Alice washes the clothes with Pendo and you should hear the fun while they are at it. As for Tasnim, we have lots of fun once she visits.

What would you think fails relationships?
Many things, I guess. But if I may name the common ones, impatience, lack of communication and third parties.

How have you managed to keep your issues to yourselves?
Simple, the issues are ours so we keep them to ourselves. This was one of the issues we talked about while starting this relationship. We all learnt a thing or two from our past.

What bad experience did you learn from involving third parties?
I will not mention any in particular, but all I can say is that if two people have a way of relating with each other whether during good or bad times, it is not advisable for anyone to try come between them. Give them the space to sort themselves out.

What advice would you give to young couples?
They should learn to be patient with each other, believe in each other and although parents play a major role in their children’s life, it is important that you date someone that you cherish and love because at the end of it all, it is going to be you and that person in that relationship.

Dedicate three songs to Alice...
This reminds me of those S.2 letters, ha ha ha. I surrender by Hillsong, Rock away by Berres Hammond and She’s Royal by Tarrus Riley. The first one is gospel, the other two are reggae. She loves the acoustic versions.

What message do you have for Alice?
Thanks for loving me and being that great mother to our children. May the most high shower you with lots of blessings, and may we grow old together. Everything we have is growing, so may we learn to be as patient as we have been. Better things are awaiting us tomorrow.