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We met in a foreign country
In 2011, Raymond and Faith crossed paths as students in Malaysia. Although she first turned down his advances, she finally realised that he was a loving man who had her best interests at heart.
What you need to know:
Relationships. In 2011, Raymond and Faith crossed paths as students in Malaysia. Although she first turned down his advances, she finally realised that he was a loving man who had her best interests at heart
While at university, we all have different personalities. Although there are those who keep to themselves and prefer to do all their work alone, there are those who will go out of their way to discuss for their colleagues, especially those struggling with a particular subject in order to help them improve their grades.
Raymond Malinga, an animator, was the latter. While studying at the Multi-Media University in Malaysia, he always found time to discuss for other students.
“I chose to help other students because it was the best way to get better at what I was doing,” he says, adding: “When you train others, chances are you will also learn a lot in the process.”
And so when Faith Kisa, a student at Limkokwing University of Creative Technology in Malaysia came knocking at his door requesting to be tutored, he did not hesitate. Although students at different universities, they were both studying animation.
“I needed a tutor who would help me towards my goal of improving my grades and a family friend recommended Raymond. When I eventually reached out, he agreed to be my tutor,” Faith says, adding that she was so happy to notice early on that Raymond was committed to making sure she passed all her exams with flying colours.
Although they were at different universities, they stayed in the same apartment complex, a gated community for students from different universities. So, they would spend a lot of time together.
But soon, everyone started assuming they were dating since they would spend every minute together. “I found this ridiculous because I never really saw us as a couple. But everyone, including my friends, kept saying we would make a great couple, a statement I often laughed off,” she says.
However, although Faith did not have any romantic feelings for Raymond, he did not share her feelings. Along the way, he had developed deep affection for her.
The start of something new…
“Although in the beginning it was all about helping her get good grades, at some point, I started noticing some qualities that I admired. She was focused and cared about her future and what she would become. Faith knew what she wanted to do, had a dream and vision, things I had not noticed in the many other students I had helped,” says Raymond.
With time, he knew maybe this was the woman he would want to have as a wife and as a result, he started dedicating more time. With time, he gathered up the courage and expressed his feelings to Faith.
Rejection
However, Faith did not share these feelings.
“At the time, I was not ready for a relationship. I was already being weighed down by the semester coursework and the stress of having to cope as a young student in a foreign country. I was also having some health issues since I was severely underweight,” she says.
“At the time, being skinny was trendy. I would eat less but exercise a lot. I would drink lemon, vinegar and anything I was told would cut the fat. By the time I graduated, I weighed about 37kgs. One day, I woke up but could not move.
I went to see a doctor and after checks, he said I was malnourished. He then recommended that I see a nutritionist who recommended that I eat certain foods, for instance carbohydrates and proteins so as to get back the nutrients I needed in the body. I followed his advice and today, I am okay,” says Faith.
Nonetheless, her rejection caused a bitter rift between the two. Raymond says he became bitter.
“I began giving excuses whenever she called and wanted my help. There were days I would tell her I was going to help her and then I end up not doing so. On other occasions, I would tell her I was busy, yet I was helping other students,” Raymond says.
However, after almost two months of not talking to each other, Faith eventually reached out to Raymond.
“We resolved our issues and I accepted to be his girlfriend after realising that he was helpful, caring and definitely someone I would love to spend the rest of my life with,” she says.
The couple have been together since 2013, the same year Faith graduated from university. Raymond graduated in 2014.
Cultural differences
The couple held their traditional wedding ceremony on September 15 and the church wedding on November 14.
They say because of the coronavirus pandemic, preparing the two ceremonies was not easy. In addition, the couple had to deal with cultural differences as Raymond is a Munyole from Butaleja, while Faith is a Jonam from Pakwach.
“For example, in my culture, there are a lot of expectations when it comes to paying dowry. On the other hand, in Raymond’s culture, they are more conservative,” Faith says, adding: “The culture shock caused some tension in the beginning but we finally learnt to embrace our different traditions.”
Their advice to other couples; “Have empathy for the other person in the relationship. Always remember that there is someone on the other side and never take your partner for granted.”
