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Living the celibate life
What you need to know:
The vow of celibacy does come with challenges, but those who take it depend on God for strength to travel their journey of faith successfully.
During my primary school days, attending the weekly morning Mass was compulsory at Namugongo Catholic Church.
While inside the church, I was accustomed to a particular habit though. Staring at the charming rings circled around the fingers of nuns and priests was it.
At the back of my mind at that tender age, I believed that wearing rings was for either engaged or married couples. For this group of holy individuals, that at least was not expected.
It was not until I was sourcing for information on celibacy for this story that I decided to visit my former church once again.
As I scouted around the church, I bumped onto a nun who happened to wear a ring on one of her fingers on her left arm. Just like any other nun, she was dressed in a white cloak commonly known as a habit with a white veil on her head. I introduced myself and stated the purpose of visit as well.
“My Mother Superior is strict about us, nuns, talking to members of the press but if you do not reveal my name, I will give you some information,” the nun said in a hesitant tone. At just the tender age of 12 years, the former headmistress of Nabumali Primary School decided to join a covert in order to nurture her dream of a celibate life. This kind of life involves a personal commitment where one has to avoid all romantic relationships of any kind.
However, since she was still young, she was told to observe and learn from other older nuns at the covert. When she eventually turned 15 years of age, she finally took her vows. “One of the vows I made was not to engage either in any sexual activity or relationship. This was in order to help me concentrate on serving God better,” she says.
Quite a huddle
At 50 years now, she also states that all has not been rosy for her. “I faced many challenges especially when I was a teenager. Often, during travel journeys back home to visit my family, various boys as well as grown men whom I met on the way, would say that I was too beautiful to be in a covert. Others would even follow me up to home,” she said with a sort of amusement. However, the constant support and encouragement from her mother and colleagues was what made her stay true to her commitment for all the past years.
The ring, which is a symbol of commitment to God, is acquired after being in the covert for nine years. After our almost 30 minute interview, she suggests that I visit De Fayer Community, which is about 300 meters away from the church. The community she explains is a meeting place for celibates since retreats and workshops are held there.
Visiting the De Fayer Community
A lady at the gate welcomes me and asks how she can be of any help. After stating my sole purpose of the visit, it is when she introduces herself as a member of the community: Justine Akiiki Kabanyoro, aged 43 years.
She tells me that the place is a meeting place for celibates who most times converge to pray, worship and study the word of God. She elaborates as well by stating that if one is to stay in the community for at least a week, they will never be the same again.
“I have been personally fellowshipping in this place for the past 12 years and I must confess that every day I keep growing in spirit and strength,” Kabanyoro says. When I inquire who is in charge of the place, she tells me Father Wynard Katende who is the episcopal vicar for the Archdiocese of Kampala.
She walks me to his office and just as we are about to reach the door step, a smartly dressed middle aged man in a red robe steps out and immediately locks the door of his office. Kabanyoro tells me he is Fr Katende and that I should grab the moment to talk to him. I rush towards him and we exchange greetings. After a brief interactive segment, he tells me to give him one hour since he has a meeting. I observe the environment as I wait. There are groups of individuals sitting under tree sheds reading their bibles while other groups are engrossed in prayer and worship sessions.
A few minutes to the time Father Katende had stated, he arrives and we sit under a tree shed. He with a brief background about himself. He was ordained as a priest in 1980 and one of the obligations when becoming one is that getting married was out of the question.
“Just like any other human being, you may see some one that you like and would wish to spend the rest of your life with them. Well, you cannot because of the oath of not getting married,” he says. On how he is able to overcome such tempting situations, Fr Katende says it is during such times that he prays to God for more strength and wisdom to overcome such hurdles. On the other hannd, he has a mentor who guides him.
Quoting St Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians in 7: 32-35, Fr Katende highlights that unmarried people please God more than married ones. “Someone not married will fully dedicate his time to God. His interests will not be divided between the worlds’ and his wife compared to some one married,” he said.
Just like Jesus Christ who served God without any woman by his side, Fr Katende concludes that he will continue serving God as a celibate for the rest of his life.
