Demonstrate the spirit of Ubuntu this Christmas
A mother gives her child a Christmas gift. Parents are challenged to raise children who are socially-conscious of needs outside of themselves. PHOTO/net
What you need to know:
We have become self-centred; as our incomes grow larger, our hearts grow narrower. We are surrounded with more abundance than our grandfathers ever had, yet we do not seem to be happier than they ever were.
The African ethos is rich with generosity; we share our food, space and time with kith and kin. We have a sense of shared community or Ubuntu- the expression that “I am what I am because of who we all are.” What a better way to demontrate this spirit than in this festive season?
We have become self-centred; as our incomes grow larger, our hearts grow narrower. We are surrounded with more abundance, yet we do not seem to be happy and content.
How did we get here? As parents, it is important that we recapture our true African spirit of Ubuntu and raise children who are socially-conscious of needs outside of themselves, especially as they grow. Children will be of benefit to the world around them by sharing their time, treasures and talents.
Children as young as one year and a half are already inclined to be generous but parental influence helps them crystallise this virtue. “One study found that toddlers younger than two, exhibited more happiness when giving treats to a puppet than when receiving treats themselves (Allen 2018). So, why should we teach children to be generous?
Expression of faith
The Christian faith encourages giving as an act of faith in God. “The King will reply, truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Mathew 24: 40). This means that for any act of giving to any one less fortunate, you are actually giving to God.
Resource distribution
According to the Global Wealth Report, the world’s total net wealth hit $431 trillion in 2020 and is expected to grow by $65 trillion in the next five years. Much of this wealth is controlled by the 10 ultra rich families.
Giving allows a redistribution of wealth. The poor get to have something too. Educating children about generosity should help crystallise the idea that generosity also avails something to the underprivileged.
Better life
Generosity is linked to better mental and physical health, happiness, longer life, according to a 2006 study by Rachel Piferi and Kathleen Lawler and later Allen Summer in her 2018 book, The Science of Generosity. Generous people are more peaceful and fulfilled in life, less stressed, happier and more productive. Winston Churchill said it well; “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Feels good
The mesolimbic pathway—the pleasure and reward area in our brains-- is stimulated when we give. You feel better giving away money more than spending it on yourself, hereby giving you positive feelings of warmth and social connection with others.
Breaks chains of selfishness
Giving breaks the materialistic stranglehold on your life when you give. Altruism is joy when we become other-centered as opposed to self-centered. We want to teach children to live in the freedom of what they give and not the prison of what they hoard. And generosity begets generosity; the people who have received generosity from others will most likely extend the same to others and those who have given will most likely receive. It is a divine law.
Start early and be patient with them
Children can be self-absorbed, egotistical, mean for their enjoyment rather than sharing. Start small when they are small, give them small things to share gradually building their capacity to determine what to give on their own.
Synchronise their interests with an age-appropriate volunteer activity. If a child loves babies, take them on a visit to a baby’s home. If a child loves trees or nature, involve them in the nature club of their school or neighbourhood.
Give them tangible items to give
Children may not understand the concept of giving money but if it is giving of a tangible item, they can see the joy it creates in the eyes of the receiver and this is encouragement for them to give more.
Read them stories about giving
The Bible is plentiful in this area. King David gave to Mephibosheth, King Solomon gave to the Queen of Sheba, a poor widow gave all she had, Joseph was generous to his brothers even when they did him wrong, but above all God loved us so much that He gave His only Son. Stories can inspire generous action in the children’s heart.
Co-opt them
Let your children help you sort out gently-used stuff to give, let them accompany you to volunteer your time at a charity, animal shelter, market clean day, or babies home. In this way they are experiencing firsthand what it means to give. You are also spending valuable family time with them in the process so it is a bonus for the family.
Reward their giving with praise
Publicly praise their acts of kindness or hospitality. If a child shares their eats with another, or helps an elderly person or neighbour, praise them publicly. This boosts their self-esteem and concretises their action as laudable and worth of a repeat. Use this Christmas to teach about giving. It may be their start of a lifestyle of giving.
