How parents can take care of their children’s mental health

Florence’s son, Andrew, finished university three years ago but he has not yet got a job. He studied for a law degree and obtained an Upper Second Class. 
“He does not comb his hair or bathe or wash his clothes. His eating habits are terrible. He is a shell of his former self. I suspect the situation of joblessness has got to his mind. When he looks at his old friends he studied with, who mostly did not go far in school as he did but are doing well, I think he gets disturbed and discouraged. I do not know how long this will go on but I am losing my son!”  

We are a country with mental health issues. The Ministry of Health reported last year that one in every three Ugandans is mentally ill. Though statistics for children are lacking, we can safely assume that because adults, who are their caregivers, are affected so are they. 
Mental disorders in children: Symptoms may include withdrawing from activities, friends, and family, irritability, low energy levels, absent-mindedness, heightened fear, anxiety, impulsivity, eating disorders, extreme sadness that paralyzes a child from normal functioning, and nightmares.   

How do you take care of your child’s mental health?    
Be consistent with your life: 
Children thrive where there is predictability through routines and structures so they can build trust with their primary caregivers. But a child who constantly moves homes or schools or environments or friends or whose parents move from one relationship to another will most likely get stressed and anxious and possibly depressed.     
 
Reading books: 
Reading facilitates brain development, unlike screen time which reduces attention, concentration, creativity, etc. 

Play: 
Play constitutes a big part of a child’s life. Some parents refuse their children to play with other children fearing that the children will get dirty or hurt or sick and they are right to some degree but play is good for a child. Allow children to play and play with them if you can.     

Travel or visits: 
Travel helps children to learn about a different environment. It also improves their mental well-being, emotions and enhances learning. My daughter visited Freedom City last week and she came back elated; she talked about the experience the whole week. 

Allow for music, dance, and drama: 
Listening to music or writing songs or dancing, or acting in a play can provide therapy to ease a child’s mental health issues by providing relaxation to the mind and body, bringing healing, improving communication, and expressing emotions.  

Teach your children how to handle stressful situations: 
Stress is a part of life and anyone can be stressed at one point or another. Teaching your child how to handle those difficult moments is paramount: when he/she fails an exam, when he/she is not the most favored in the class, when he/she loses a chess game, when he/she is feeling lousy and they talk negatively to themselves…what do you tell him/her? Are you comforting and encouraging or are you part of his/her stress?   

Take care of your mental health too: 
Parents have an influence on their children and this extends even to their mental health. Therefore, a parent wants to be influencing their child’s mental health positively and this may be by caring about their mental health too. When a parent is mentally stable, then they can provide the same stable environment to their children. Yes, there are times when as a parent you will struggle mentally but you can employ certain coping mechanisms to prevent it from spilling over to your children. For instance, you can seek professional help or cool off through physical exercises. 

Take care of your child’s needs: 
Children who are neglected or abandoned or maltreated will most likely develop mental illnesses which might manifest as behavioral issues such as separation anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and poor-relationship-forming skills. It is thus vital that as a parent, you provide for your child’s physical needs so they don’t have to worry about the issues of life at a young age when they cannot handle the pressures. 

Also, take care of their emotional needs by being friendly and present to listen to them without judging them and communicate with them as openly as you can as opposed to dressing them down. A dinner table is an important place for conversing with them and catching up. Allow boys to express their feelings and even cry if they want to. When you are present you can also observe for mental health red flags like stress, anxiety, fear, and depression, change of moods, and help them out in time or find a professional to help them.       

Healthy eating: 
Some foods are better for mental health than others, for instance, whole grains, and proteins such as beans, fruits, and vegetables have nutritional value that allows for better sleep, and reduced anxiety. 
 
Allow them some degree of independence: 
Depending on their age, you want your children to feel good about themselves by doing certain tasks themselves or determining some direction for themselves. This improves their self-esteem and their mental well-being.  Do not hoover over them like a helicopter you might be stressing them.  

Have a routine/ schedule in the home and maintain it. 
This encourages proper mental and emotional development. This also builds discipline in the children.

Enough sleep for the children: 
A child who is chronically sleep deprived either by going to bed late or waking up early might get affected mentally. They might become irritable, cranky, anxious, depressed, or experience mood swings.  The recommended amount of sleep for children is as follows, according to some research sources: 10 to 13 hours for children under 4 years of age, 9 to 11 hours for children 6-12 years of age, and 8 to 10 hours for children 13-19-year-olds.    

Get help: 
If a child has a mental illness, he/she should get professional help. Michele Obama, the former First Lady of the United States, in a Huffington Post once wrote, “We would never tell someone with a broken leg that they should stop wallowing and get it together. We don’t consider taking medication for an ear infection something to be ashamed of. We shouldn’t treat mental health conditions any differently.” Fred, an eighteen-year-old lad, knocked someone dead two years ago while driving his father’s Subaru car. He sped from the scene of the accident and no one saw him because it was at night. 

“But he couldn’t flee away from the feelings of guilt that grabbed him after that accident. He was not the same for about a year since the accident. After failing to convince him to let go of the feelings but with no success, I checked him in at Butabika Hospital for psychiatric help and he was been helped. He is no longer as depressed and suicidal as was before,” says his mother Janet.  

Parents, we are partly responsible for our children’s mental health, and as far as it depends on us, let us help our children to be mentally healthy.