Even if a relationship has to end, it does not have to be violent

Timothy comes back home from work and finds his girlfriend, Jessica, in their bed with another man. There is a panga that he keeps in the corner of their bedroom for defence against intruders in case they attack them, but at that moment, Timothy picks it up and hacks both Jessica and the man to death. He flees immediately to an unknown place.   

What Timothy commits is called a crime of passion, otherwise also known as a crime of love. These are acts of violence or aggression that are driven by strong emotions such as fear, revenge, anger, and jealousy, rather than as a premeditated crime. They are committed in the heat of a moment or in a passionate state or under extreme emotional disturbance. No time passes between the action that triggered the offender and the crime they commit.

In criminal law, it can be argued that Timothy was temporarily insane and if successful, the charge can be downgraded from murder to manslaughter. From research, the first case that used the defence of temporary insanity was of US Congressman Daniel Edgar Sickles, son of Francis Scott Key (the author of the US national anthem) in 1859. Daniel shot and killed his wife’s lover, Philip Barton Key on February 27, 1859.  

Overwhelming emotions

 Love and jealousy are such strong emotions, even God mentions them; “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm; for love is as strong as death; jealousy is as cruel as the grave; the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.” (Proverbs 8:6; KJV). People commit crimes of passion because they feel overwhelmed by emotions and act on impulse.

 Common examples include murder, assault resulting from infidelity or suspicion and heated arguments between spouses or friends that lead to physical violence. For instance, Marvin Gaye, an American R&B and soul singer, was shot and killed by his father, Marvin Gaye Sr., on April 1, 1984, during an argument because of, among other reasons, jealousy of his son’s successful music career.

Psychological issues

 Studies have shown that individuals who commit crimes of passion have underlying psychological conditions such as psychosis, bipolar disorders, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorders, post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD), stress or a history of trauma.

Domestic violence

According to a paper titled, Women who kill in the context of domestic violence in Uganda: How does the criminal justice system respond?”, published in Kampala in 2021, research carried out in detention centres in the districts of Arua, Gulu, Jinja, Masaka, Mbarara, Soroti, Mbale, Fort Portal, Bushenyi, and Wakiso among 269 (111 convicts), women and girls aged between 18-60 convicted for murder and manslaughter, showed that they killed because they had experienced prolonged and repeated domestic violence at the hands of a partner, spouse, or family member. So they retaliated against this oppression by killing.

Substance abuse

Unregulated and prolonged misuse of alcohol or drugs can impair the hippocampus region of the brain, which is responsible for memory and learning, resulting in undermining good judgment and hence resulting in committing a crime of passion. Drug abuse can cause irritability, confusion, depression, aggression, and restlessness and may cause someone to lack proper mental and physical control.

Avenging of reputations

Good people can become violent agents of destruction and death, if they perceive that their reputation and honour have been abused, or betrayed. Men, more than women, tend to think they own their partners, which is why adultery committed by a wife is considered the most severe form of provocation on a man. Someone has called adultery, “…the highest invasion of property…” and another, Jeremy Horde justifies retaliation in defence of a man’s honour; “men of honour were expected to retaliate in the face of an affront…to avenge an affront was thought to be one of the most important laws of honour.”

Rather than focusing on punishing offenders, steps can be taken to mitigate the occurrence of these crimes. So what are some of the solutions to crimes of passion?

Proper communication

 Always communicate with one another rather than resorting to violence to settle anger and jealousy issues. Not every disagreement or misunderstanding should be settled by a kill. Even if a relationship has to end, it does not have to be violent. It all comes down to the maturity of the people involved and how willing they are to settle issues.   

Avoid substance abuse

 These are dangerous catalysts for crimes of passion, especially among young people. The church should teach against these more radically and also the government should have stringent controls on the production and distribution of the same.  

Self-emotional control

We all get jealous or angry or want to revenge, but we do not go around injuring or killing people because we are overwhelmed by emotions. Sunday Asingwire, a counsellor at New Dawn Counselling and Psychotherapy, suggests: “Crimes of passion can be avoided if a person recognises their triggers and signs of emotional distress and extricates themselves from a situation before it escalates. If you are moody or irritable and prone to doing something outside of your control, walk away and cool off, instead of harming them.”

Personal security

 Some people stay in bad relationships for the sake of children, insecurity, fear or other reasons. But if your partner has behavioural abnormalities such as uncontrolled anger issues and murderous intentions, and they have demonstrated to you by holding a knife against you or tried to choke you or harm you in any way, it is wise and safe to walk away from such a potentially dangerous relationship. Better to be safe than sorry, they say. Foolishness is a poor excuse for martyrdom.