Prime
Of planned children and gentle parenting
Author: Min Atek. PHOTO/FILE
What you need to know:
- In the era of planned children and gentle parenting, things have taken a sudden sad twist.
- Many of today’s children cannot wash their underwear, prepare a quick meal or even cross a road. Domestic workers handle everything.
Halfway through the meeting, the family walked into the building. The youngest child in the group, who also happens to be the only beloved child of his mother, was being carried by one of his older cousins. He is usually being carried regardless of the activity, not because he is disabled in some way, but rather because he is a very special and dearly loved only child.
“Why are you carrying a relatively big boy?” I inquired. “He is not used to being around many people,” she replied. “When will he be ready?” I further probed. She went mute.
“How will he compete with others when at that age all he knows is to be carried around?” I asked one more time. The name I mentioned is for a child we both knew, who has gone on to achieve so much even at a young age.
This is an area where many parents, especially mothers go wrong. There is a tendency to love the children to the point of crippling them in almost everything. The point where children are disempowered, so to speak. They cannot do anything by themselves.
“When your child asks you how the light in the room comes on, direct them to the switch and nudge them to find out how to switch it on themselves,” one man put it that way.
On the contrary, many mothers would rather go to the switch and switch it on for the child. What a simple but profound act of disabling the child from acting, thinking, contemplating, analysing and learning for themselves.
I was watching a video clip, recently, where the father of twin daughters was teaching the one-year-olds. By experience, he threw each girl into the pool and they swam to the other end.
I am not in any way suggesting that we throw our children into swimming pools. But the act demonstrates that even at such a tender age, the father was allowing his precious daughters to learn how to swim. In many cases, today’s parent is doing everything that our parents did not do.
Our parents rarely did things for us; they were too busy making ends meet. But also, many valued hardwork.
In the era of planned children and gentle parenting, things have taken a sudden sad twist. Many of today’s children cannot wash their underwear, prepare a quick meal or even cross a road. Domestic workers handle everything.
The househelps lay their beds, feed the children and wipe their behind when the child can ably use a toilet. The consequence of these acts of madness is a steep rise in the number of children from affluent homes who are entitled, overweight, and emotionally dependent. Plus a rise in children and adults abusing drugs and all manner of substances.
