What does leaving a legacy for your children look like?

In one leadership class I attended years ago, we were tasked to do something somewhat horrific; write a personal obituary that you would like to be read at your funeral.

The purpose was for us to begin to design how we wanted to live our lives before we died. For some who had never cared how they lived their lives and how they would like to be remembered, it was a soul searching moment.

Dr Martin Luther King, the US black civil rights movement leader, in one of his speeches, said he wanted to be remembered as “a man who tried to love somebody”, Alexander the Great’s epitaph read, “A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough.” What would you like your epitaph to read like?   

Some work hard to leave tonnes of money and wealth for their children. Others believe a spiritual heritage is the best thing to give children. For some, having a reputable family name is all they care about.

Parenting, like any other process to be successful, must be intentional. You should care about how you will be remembered. What would you like your children to remember you for when you are gone?

You want to leave a legacy so you can know that your life on earth counted for something worthwhile.      

Legacy is what you leave behind after you are dead or the memories that people keep of you after you die. You can be known for an ethic, a moral, a skill or an asset. Legacy can be transferred from you to your children. It does not have to be vague a task and here is how;

Spend time your children

No matter how many achievements you have under your belt, or how many gifts you give to others, none equals the time you spend with your children. Your children are (or should be) your number two priority, after your spouse. Time spent with your children is important in passing onto them your values and it gives you an opportunity to be exampary of what you want them to emulate after you are gone. Your presence therefore is more important than the presents you give them.  

Practical skills

If you want to pass on a skill to your children, you have got to find time to teach it. In the Bible, the tribe of Benjamin was known for its left-handed warriors and the tribe of Judah for its leadership. These tribes were known for these qualities most likely because they were taught to them at a tender age as much as they were prophesied on them by their father Jacob before his death.   

Everyday opportunities

 As your children observe your daily routine, passion, and ethics, they learn something from you even when you may not be aware of it after all values are better caught than taught. Every day is an opportunity to be a role model to your children. They see the way you talk to others, the sacrifices you make, the little gestures of kindness you give others, seemingly insignificant little things but that make for big impact in their lives. Seize these moments and optimise them.         

Leave money to your children:

 In Proverbs 13:22, King Solomon wrote these words; “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.” Solomon considered it wise to leave an inheritance, whether in monetary terms or not, not just for your children but for your grandchildren.

In it, he meant that no matter your inheritance, it can have a ripple effect on generations after you.

But this will not come by chance. It will involve careful planning such as making investments, leaving a will, designating an heir, and determining an amount to leave behind. 

Literary work

 Write a book, a poem, a song, a blog, a journal, a memoir, an autobiography. Benjamin Franklin, one of the most influential statesmen US had ever had, once said, “If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” You are probably familiar with someone else’s legacy but how about you write your own story with your own perspective and lessons to pass on?     

Stay connected

After retirement, some people disappear into oblivion and retreat to villages as they wait to die. It ought not to be this way. You can stay relevant and meaningful in the lives of your children and grandchildren.

You can share wisdom with them as they navigate their own life’s storms and this way, they will remember you.      You want to leave a legacy; you have got to be generous and leverage your talents, time and treasures for your children and generations to come.

Story telling

 One of my paternal uncles is our family’s archive. He knows everything about his father’s life; travels, faith, and how he risked life to do what he did. Every moment I spend with him, he recounts some of the history of his father (my grandfather).

 In traditional African society, much of legacy transfer was done through telling stories around bedtime, gardening, grazing or fire places. It is during such moments that we were taught about nature, culture, morals, survival, the universe and worship. It was entertainment and education at the same time. It was to us what Netflix is to Gen Z.      

Start a charity or join politics

 Caring to improve their everyday lives should not be limited to Rotarians or those that have achieved the self-actualisation level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. Your children will learn from you as they see you serve humanity. You will give them a sense that life is shared and not just about them but also about others. Many children have taken after their parents in serving their communities.

Avako Melsa Naima Gule, District Woman MP Yumbe District says passing on a heritage to her children something she works on daily. “I pray that my work for the community will motivate my children to make a contribution to any community they become part of and in whatever vocation or they choose.”