Prime
You are your children’s first teacher. Do it best
Min Atek
What you need to know:
Think about it; if you grew up seeing your father fend and provide for the family, subconsciously you will do the same when you get your own home
Seated across the table, one of my elder sisters said to me, “... in everything you do as a parent, always remember that monkey see, monkey do.”
Her seemingly simple statement carried so much weight and I asked her to repeat it. This is a statement we have heard countless times and it is possible there is a level of familiarity about it that we miss the weight of the responsibility it carries.
Think about it; if you grew up seeing your father fend and provide for the family, subconsciously you will do the same when you get your own home.
If you meet and marry a person who was raised by a single mother, who fended and provided for the family, there is a possibility that the two of you will see the running of that family from opposite directions which presents room for conflict.
Our behaviour as parents in the positive and not so positive sense directly impacts our children and the lenses through which they will see the world and interact with others.
The way you react in challenging times subconsciously teaches them to react that way. If you are into self-destructive behaviour, your children pick on that and store it.
What a responsibility and what a challenge to imagine that all my actions and the lack of them speak and have a direct impact on our children.
Sometimes it feels like this responsibility is an extreme expectation and perhaps it is unfair on the parents. I mean, we would like that our children grow up to be great and responsible but we do not want to feel like this grave responsibility solely lies on us.
The flip side is that it also frees parents to be authentic so the children learn that. It keeps parents in check and teaches us to be deliberate and disciplined. Seeing your child become an addict to substances may perhaps encourage a father to give up their smoking. Knowing that you are your child’s first teacher, you will opt to come home after work rather than spend extended hours in the bar partying with friends.
Once again, I looked at my older sister and meditated deeply about her words of counsel. I recommitted myself to be more gentle and understanding with each child. I purposed to be gracious and to complain less about the things that are not perfect. To speak kindly, to hear the things that are unspoken. To be present and to allow to be taught by those ahead of me.
As I ponder on parenting, I remember to celebrate my mother for the hero she was in raising us.
