Why am I unable to have children?

I am a 36-year-old man who had a son 16 years ago. Three years ago, I married the love of my life but we have been unable to have any children. What could be the problem?  Darlington

Dear Darlington,
When a couple, that is having regular unprotected sex (about thrice a week), take a year or more without pregnancy, they may be deemed infertile. The cause of the infertility could be the woman, man or both, although in some cases, it may never be found.

Women are the ones who get pregnant and when they fail to do so, blame is usually heaped on them, sometimes incorrectly, since a man, even when he is not impotent may fail to impregnate a woman.

Today, many couples are infertile because the men have low sperm count, which by sheer luck or if a woman is fertile (as happens in young highly fertile women), a couple then may get one or two children but as a woman grows older, she may become less fertile, hence unlikely to be impregnated by a man with low sperm count.

A man may not have had low sperm count when younger thus easily make a woman pregnant. However, if this man’s lifestyle involves things such as cigarette smoking, substance abuse, heavy alcohol consumption, gets exposed to pesticides, takes body building anabolic steroids, gets frequent exposure to heat such as in saunas or hot tubs, long distance truck driving and radiation, he may suffer reduced sperm count, hence unable to make a woman pregnant.

Also, emotional stress and obesity may lead to reduced sperm count, which may cause infertility in a man who was previously fertile.

A fertile man may have a child or children but later suffer from some diseases (especially with STDs), leading to the blockage of their sperm carrying tubes. Here, such a man will end up ejaculating fluids devoid of sperm to cause pregnancy.

Because of busy work schedules, many couples have little time for sufficient sexual intercourse to result into pregnancy. A number of these are using the “unsafe periods “in the hope of getting an elusive pregnancy yet regular sex (at least three times a week) is significant).

Please visit your doctor, together with your wife, for advice and if need be, fertility tests.

Meanwhile, exercise, taking a balanced diet low in fats, avoiding smoking, over drinking, taking drugs or substance abuse apart from avoiding overheating of the testicles may help boost sperm count and fertility.