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‘We got fond of each other right away’
The Chisunkas with friends and family on their wedding day at Bbunga SDA Central Church. PHOTOS | BEATRICE NAKIBUUKA
What you need to know:
- Love at first sight. Norman Chisunka and Lilian Zonse grew fond of each other even before the mention that they were in a relationship. They shared their love story with Beatrice Nakibuuka
Norman had joined Bugema University a year earlier and during the registration of fresher’s in August 2017, Lilian was among the new entrants.
“I saw a beautiful girl who was dressed well. When I approached her, I told her that I liked her and I introduced myself to her but she did not have a phone. Fortunately, she stayed around the university so I would ask for her and her friends would direct me to where she was,” Norman, a Zambian says.
They instantly became friends and many times he invited her for Friday fellowships where he would preach. She later got a sim card and a phone that eased their communication and although they were pursuing different courses, they always got time for each other.
Their friendship went on for a whole semester and they became fond of each other. Since Lilian was not sure about what kind of relationship they had, she asked Norman to define what it was as she started the second semester.
“I asked that he pursues me so that we are on the same page. I was not sure if we were friends or lovers and he made mention of his intentions,” Lilian says.
For about three weeks, Norman pursued her until she was convinced and she accepted to be his girlfriend. According to him, she is very simple and took the little things that he did for her as big things.
“She never asked about my financial status like the other girls did. There was another girl I was comparing her with and Lilian seemed to be too good.”
To Lilian, Norman was consistent about his word, hardworking, patient, organised and was a good cook. When Lilian was sick and was admitted to a nearby hospital, he brought food and other items to Lilian in the presence of her parents.
“I introduced him as my pastor because I was not sure if our relationship was going to lead to anything serious. Many of the international students often told lies to girls that they were going to marry them but they did not. I was not sure he was different.”
One day, towards the end of 2018, Norman went into the office where Lilian’s mother worked and introduced himself as her boyfriend.
“I was so angry at him. He had always asked me to introduce him to my parents but I deliberately refused. I was not sure about the relationship even when I had agreed to date him.”
Getting closer
When her parents got to know him, they decided to take their relationship seriously but along the way, their relationship was on and off as they got into quarrels. At some point, the two had a bitter fight where Lilian took back everything that Norman had given her.
“I got angry at her but after some time, we worked out our differences and got back together.”
When the Covid-19 pandemic set in, Norman fell sick and Lilian’s family took care of him.
“Her family was very welcoming and good to me. In my culture, when you marry a girl, you marry her whole family. I was greatly touched by how they cared for me like their own son even before I married their daughter. This is one of the reasons I married her.”
In November 2022 they finally agreed to do their kukyaala at her home in Kasese. He was very scared of meeting her extended family but he was encouraged by a friend.
Since Norman is still a student and Lilian had just graduated, they had no savings but were ready for marriage. They then formed a WhatsApp group that consisted of friends who contributed for their introduction and wedding. They altogether raised Shs25m for both events.
Lilian was disappointed by the fact that their wedding was postponed from the original date and also by the makeup artist who came late yet the church service was supposed to start by 10 am.
The best moment for the couple was at the reception when everyone started dancing. They remark that marriage is a good thing that makes you become settled and be able to think about other things that will help to develop you as a couple.
Advice about marriage
“I advise people who are planning to marry to marry for the right reasons like love and growth. There are adaptations that come with marriage because we come from different backgrounds but it is always important to embrace your shortcomings. Always have the space to learn and unlearn.”
Lilian remarks that, “Although it comes with responsibility, marriage is a good thing. It is good to have a friend who understands you and is consistent about their commitment.”
How they are adapting to marriage
The couple is pleased to have an extended family so they welcome relatives at any time. About finances, they have agreed to have collective efforts and have a pool of resources upon which they make equal decisions on what percentage goes to investments, savings and expenditure.
When they have children, the couple have agreed that they will not have a television but instead have a library where they and the children will spend most of the time reading.
HIGHLIGHTS
Bride: Lilian Zonse
Groom: Norman Chisunka
Date: May 21, 2023
Presiding officer: Pr Anthony Achiga
Venue: Bbunga SDA Central Church
