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Deal with a nagging spouse
A nagging spouse makes the relationship strenuous. Courtesy Photo
What you need to know:
SORT THEM. We always dream or wish to be in a relationship where we are appreciated than one in which we are constantly pointing at each other’s faults. Some couples eventually break up yet some find ways of coping with a nagging spouse. PHIONAH NASSANGA writes.
Ben Mutakhi, a businessman, says at times women are overwhelmed thus becoming sensitive and end up overreacting. For example, he says before, he used to work with his wife but he did not think his wife, would harass him over issues concerning having an affair with his employee, someone he says, she had recommended and questioning his every move.
At first he thought staying calm and walking away from her accusations would solve the problem, but it did not.
He adds that she would provoke him into answering her back since keeping quiet would as well annoy her, yet she was unwilling to listen or believe any of his explanations.
“When I felt the pressure was too much, I decided to give her space. I sought refuge at my brother’s home because I would end up hurting her,” Mutakhi shares.
Mutakhi’s staying away helped his wife realise how nagging she had become thus asking him to talk things over.
Unbearable
Nobody likes a nag, and the person doing it may not know the impact it is causing. Swafir Sserunjogi, a father of two, says a complaining wife is unbearable especially when they are doing it often.
Even when you choose to walk away, he notes some will make it a point to wait for you and resume the harassment, therefore opting to spend a night elsewhere.
“When I realise that whenever we are together it is hell on earth and all you do is harass and pester me, I talk to you first but if the situation persists, then I find other means. Islam gives us a chance to have four wives, to have a peace of mind I will spend less time with you,” Sserunjogi says.
Two-way
However, William Ssemukwano, a graphics designer, says nagging is two-way.
Before taking any decisions, get to the root of the problem then you can know how to deal with your partner’s nagging.
Find out what you are doing that is annoying her. If it is a valid reason, then try to rectify those mistakes.
Ssemukwano further says not knowing that throwing his socks and working materials everywhere in the house triggered his wife’s anger, he kept doing it over and over.
“At first I thought she was being picky as she kept complaining and quarrelling over something that seemed simple to me. Saying she was fed up of organising my stuff,” Ssemukwano narrates
Tired of arguing with her and getting into fights he started ignoring her until he decided to hear her out since even the children got to know about the quarrels.
Don’t boast
But David Mawanda mentions that it is not good to remind your wife that you are the man of the house but in such situations, he says it is called for. He says he would openly talk about it and show how much she is getting to his nerves.
“Failure to change, I ask her to either stop it immediately or we end the relationship,” he says. But if the cause of her nagging is my habits, say joining friends for a football match, then I would ask her to bear with me.
Help her out
She wakes up at 5am, cooks, cleans, get your children ready for school, has work to do all day and then again return to a home with so many chores undone. She sure does a lot, but do you do your bit? Do you ever offer to help her with washing or cleaning or cooking or helping kids with studies? Not more, but leaving your match and helping her with a small household chore every once in a week will sure endear you to her. You will no more be “an unhelpful partner” to her again.
