Lessons from our fathers

Dr Bonaventure Ahaisibwe
“Being the last born of 11 children, I was born when my father was 50 years and I have seen our relationship evolve from handholding through coaching and mentoring to one of mutual trust and respect the one thing that has been constant is respect,” Dr Ahaisibwe says.

Ahaisibwe says his father never had to talk about respect because he respected him and he reciprocated.
“I learnt uncountable lessons from my father but the most important to create a safe space for feedback, praise in public and critic privately. It gave me the safe space to fail early and fail forward because I knew he had my back,” he adds.

He notes that his father never pretended to be flawless which taught him to be honest about his weaknesses and proactively look out for synergies to bridge them.
“At 91, he remains my pillar of strength and beacon of wisdom. What he does not have in physical strength he has made up for in wit and experience,” Dr Ahaisibwe explains.

READ: Why Fathers’ Day quietly vanishes

Tina Wamala 
“I am very close to my father. Being the last born, he also spoilt and pampered me to date. He calls me his princess, he has always pushed me to strive to reach my full potential and to be as ambitious and determined,” Wamala says.
She adds that he is a great sounding board for some of her decisions.

Growing up, Wamala says, her father never had gender biases.
“My father believes that whatever a man can do a woman can do better and always taught me to never limit myself or downplay my potential,” she explains.
He is an educationalist, she says, so he was always keen on them being educated and independent to thrive.
“I am fearless, ambitious and a go-getter because of my father,” she notes.

Simon Mugisha,
Mugisha says his relationship with his father is friendly. Adding that what he would discuss with his father growing up, has turned out developmental. 
“From my studies to my personal life, I owe what I am to him and my mum for not sparing the rod,” he recalls.
Mugisha says he is a responsible person and he will pass the same lessons on to his children.

“I have learnt to appreciate hard work in order to own property. My father never spoon-fed but supported us. I believe that is why I have been able to attain what I have through hard work because of my father,” he notes.
He adds that he learnt to fight procrastination because he preached against it while he was growing up.
“I know what needs to be done immediately is done immediately,” Mugisha adds.
He says he has learnt to manage his finances, especially as a family man.

Joan Aleni Uhuru
“My father has made me the person I am, he has treated us with true love,” Uhuru says.
She adds that her father has sacrificed so much for her and siblings.
She explains that she sometimes wonders what life would be like if not for her father.
“Every single day I am grateful to God for my father, he was meant to be our father,” she recalls.
She tries to be a better child and prays that her father and mother reap the fruits that they sowed in her and her siblings.

Hamza Ndiwalana
 “My father is easygoing, so we often have a good conversation about anything and everything,” Ndiwalana says.
He adds that he keeps going to his father for advice and guidance since he is always ready to listen and give his view on a situation.
“I have learnt a different perspective of making and keeping money, I worked with him in my Senior Six vacation and through campus,” he explains.

Ndiwalana says the lessons he learnt from him stuck with him and have enabled him to start and manage several businesses and positively impact the community.
“That is one of the best lessons a father can pass on to his son, the ability to survive on his own and take care of those around him,” he notes.

Catherine Ageno, broadcast editor 

He fondly called me mom because I was named after his mother, and I simply called him ENO (Eridad Nathaniel Okoth) or simply "my son."

Although he passed on almost a year ago, I still refuse to refer to him as the "Late" because his spirit still lives on in me.

With him I had the best moments of my life. We laughed, sang, danced and read books together.

We would even joke and laugh about boys who dared hit on me while I was still in high school. We also had a code language we coined just so the two of us could talk about mom
 even in her presence.

I am the youngest of six siblings but our close relationship baffled everyone in my family because he never took any decisions about any family matter without seeking my opinion. 

Even in my absence, dad would say..."Okay, that's a great idea but what does my mummy say?"
This clearly angered many of my siblings who would often be heard saying they would never let me be dad's heir as all indications were as such.

My crowning most memorable moment that proved our special bond was on the day this picture was taken. He had been bed-ridden but asking for a special private moment where he could talk to me alone. 

So I took him out for lunch at a friend's quiet restaurant in Kigo. And that is where he told me how much he loved me, laid hands on me and prayed for and blessed me and my children and their children. 

He then asked me to read one scripture, and held both my hands close to his mouth and spat in them saying "you have my blessing."

He told me that I was his chosen one, even though he had named one of my elder brothers in the Will as his heir.

That moment has stayed alive in my memory and always will. 

I still feel dad's love, his voice rings in my head with wise counsel in every decision I take in my life.

I Love you, daddy. You will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Doreen Namakula 
Namakula says her father is her best friend, hero and advisor. He has always provided her with emotional support.
“I always find a safe space with him where I freely express my thoughts, dreams, goals and emotions, when I am with my father I feel like I am with my big brother,” she says.

She does not fear telling him what is hurting her and stressing her and what she is not comfortable with.
“He does not judge me but finds solutions to make me happy again,” Namakula adds.
Namakula explains that he ensures that she feels safe with him.
“Regardless of how old he is he has always respected me as I reciprocate the great father that I can ever ask for,” she explains.

She has learnt to be patient from her father.
“This has helped me to be patient even when things do not seem to work out and I know that is why I managed to finish my Bachelor’s degree in Commerce with good grades,” Namakula explains. Adding that “He has always told me to be content with whatever I have though I should not be comfortable in any bad situation,” she notes.

Honourable Justice Samuel Emokor 
“I have a strong bond with my dad he is my inspiration, I look up to him so much so that from, an early age I was drawn to Law because my father was a lawyer, it seemed like it was the best choice that one can make with their life,” Emokor says.
He adds that he could not have turned out as a lawyer without his dad’s influence.

 Emokor notes that his father is his friend and yet strict at the same time.
“He is a disciplinarian and he kept me and my younger brother Isaac in check, God knew we needed that strong hand,”he recalls.
Emokor explains that he learnt to work hard from his dad who never feared to get his hands dirty and even with a government job he would fold his trousers roll up his sleeves and dig with the men he was paying to do the work.

“He was actually helping them complete a task for which he was going to pay them,”Emokor notes.
“He took the responsibility of making us breakfast on Saturday mornings,he would wake up very early and we would hear him singing in the kitchen as he cooked and he would call us out to enjoy his cooking,”he reveals.
Emokor says he learnt how to remain humble in life and treat everyone with respect. 

He says his father never keeps a record of wrongs and forgives quickly when one acknowledges a fault.
“My father taught me to look for the best in everyone and to get along with everyone, he has excellent interpersonal skills that am always learning to harness,”he says.
Emokor adds that he has learnt that God is everything to man.
“My father’s faith can move mountains I never went for examinations without him praying for me,”Emokor recalls.

Believe Niwagaba 
“I have a strong and close bond with my dad; he has always been there for me providing love, support and guidance throughout my life,”Niwagaba says.
He adds that as a typical African man he does not say that he loves him but his love is expressed through actions that speak volumes.

“Sometimes he is harsh on me but just to produce the best out of me, he has supported my education and with his and my mum’s efforts I graduated with a first class Bachelor’s degree from Uganda Christian University last year,”he notes.
He adds that he has learnt to always seize opportunities swiftly.
“He always tells me to always be the first to step up before anyone else when leadership is needed,”Niwagaba explains.
He says that this proactive approach has ensured that he never misses a chance to progress in life.

Niwagaba notes that he has learnt the importance of hardwork, integrity and perseverance.
He explains that everyone is working hard so he has to work extra hard to be better and the best because he believes in him being the best.
“To my father one has to do what is right even when no one is seeing, discipline is number one,”he explains.
Niwagaba notes that upholding discipline as a core value has garnered him admiration and support in his endeavors such as becoming the District Youth Chairman of Kanungu.

“I became the district youth chairman of Kanungu at 19years and the massive celebration of my recent birthday was a testament to the respect earned through consistent discipline, I reflected on almost everyone’s Whatsapp status update,”he says.
Niwagaba remarks that the values have shaped who he is today and have helped him overcome challenges and achieve his goals.

 Joan Akello, sub editor

My father, the late Tom Okao Orech, was the life of the party. He was usually the master of ceremonies and was known for cracking a joke in unexpected situations and making hilarious speeches. He also had a signature laugh and dance strokes that did not change, regardless of the music. He had the same strokes; be it Lingala, rhumba, R&B, etc. Even in church, he pulled the same dance moves.

The best showpieces were those he had with my mother on the dance floor. They were made for each other; on and off the dance floor.

My father was intentional and thorough. He loved to celebrate small and big achievements and believed in helping people, including his five children, achieve their dreams and aspirations. He also had a camera that he used to capture almost everything; the good, bad, and ugly. He kept photos and a file for each child to keep track of their achievements and challenges.

He taught me how to cook food in one pot and was a critique of the food his children prepared whenever mummy was away. He would say,  for example, today, Joan has served us R and B beans or rice, implying the rice or beans were raw and burnt. But after cracking everyone’s ribs, he would demonstrate or explain how one should have prepared the meal or done whatever task it was.

Anita Kyomuhendo Tugume, Procurement Officer

My father, my hero. He has done it all but there are two moments I will live to cherish forever.

One was when he prepared a bed and meal for me the first day I reported to campus.

The second one was when he was very sick and weak but came to the hospital and waited on me while I was in labor. When his grandson was born, he named him Akoragye.

Dad, may you live to see your great grandchildren in good health.

Lucas Gerald Agaba, programmes scheduler

There was a time I was admitted to the hospital after I had been attacked by thugs. I was fighting for my life after I had suffered a broken skull and a severe eye injury. Due to the hospital policies, bringing in bedding or sleeping on the patient's bed was not allowed. My father, however, was determined to stay by my side. For three consecutive nights, he slept on a seat in my hospital room. He refused to leave despite the discomfort and lack of proper rest.

He stayed awake​ throughout the nights watching over me. Every time I opened my eyes, I saw him alert and ready to help with anything I needed. His presence provided me with immense comfort and strength during this incredibly challenging time. Due to the condition I was in, I couldn't take a picture at that moment, but the memory is vividly etched in my mind.
It reminds me of the countless sacrifices he has made for our family and the profound bond we share.