We were discussing with some friends about age-related matters, and at some point I had to express my personal opinion about the only question I had.
If one day I had a chance to ask the Lord about His creation, that question would be: “Why do we have to get very old?” Of course, very old with a healthy body and mind, is not an issue However, losing one’s faculties one by one and then losing one’s mind, is a matter that is haunting me.
When I was younger, taking care of our grandparents was my parents’ responsibility. We were rarely involved.
In other words, we were never prepared for a future that included taking care of our parents. This part of our lives is different in every family, nonetheless, it remains one of the most emotionally challenging tasks one could have.
During my latest trip to Bwindi Forest, where we went gorilla trekking, we had an elderly woman in our group. She was almost 80 years old with a very lean and fit body. Alongside all the younger members of the group, she managed to hike all the way up and down the mountain, just with a little bit of help from a porter.
Now if we are to get to that age, this is how we should be, otherwise it is just endless pain in all joints and a handful of medication per day. If you have been a very active person all your life, it is very hard not to be able to perform as well as before.
This is exactly the case of my mother, who is suffering from several chronic illnesses, with reduced mobility. She can no longer drive, and the day her car key was taken away from her. Flags were flown at half-mast in our house, she mourned her car for many months. And even now, many years later, she still remembers what she calls independence days.
One of my friends said these are all tests for the people surrounding the elderly people. Honestly, I do not mind being tested if the challenges are about physical or material help.
The bigger test comes when our elderly gradually lose the quality of their minds, depression and anxiety are the most prominent among those disorders.
These also lead to more serious cases such as dementia and Alzheimer's. You can only imagine a parent who has no control over their bodies, and who at some point would not even remember their children.
In some cultures, elderly parents are never taken to a home for the elderly, they stay in the family home. In other places, once the elderly need more attention they are taken to special homes, in a place such as Luxembourg there are many such homes.
Some are like five-star hotels, of course with a hefty fee paid every month, and a long waiting list.
There are also more affordable homes, and the government assists as much as possible.
