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Phrases too loved by journalists
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“A third phrase,” O’Connor wittily observed, “ is ‘all roads lead to’ as in, ‘on Saturday morning all roads lead to Namboole Stadium where muscular athletics coach, Kevin O’Connor
A source who preferred anonymity, called Kevin O’Connor, said, “There are numerous phrases that get boringly repeated in Ugandan newspaper articles, such as ‘a source who preferred anonymity’. A second overused phrase is “due to unforeseen circumstances’ as in ‘the opening of the refurbished Lugogo indoor stadium has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances’.”
“Often”, O’Connor insightfully continued, “the use of ‘due to unforeseen circumstances’ conceals the Ugandan tendency of not confronting issues. Thus ‘the opening of Kampala’s Northern Bypass has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances’ might better read, ‘the opening of Kampala’s Northern Bypass has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances, more commonly known as slowness and inefficiency.’”
“A third phrase,” O’Connor wittily observed, “ is ‘all roads lead to’ as in, ‘on Saturday morning all roads lead to Namboole Stadium where muscular athletics coach, Kevin O’Connor will be found dressed only in a pair of running shorts, and with a stomach protruding considerably further in front, than his non-existent bum does behind’.”
“All roads,” a gushing O’Connor added, “certainly lead to my inbox at present. I receive more spam, more junk mail, than there are:
- Newly created districts in Uganda
- Goals scored by Fulham Football Club
- Junk helicopters
- Dollars corruptly embezzled from the Global and GAVI Funds
I eespecially resent receiving junk emails offering to increase the size of a part of my body that is big enough already, and I am not talking about my nose.
“There are phrases” continued O’Connor, doing something that Ugandans generally avoid doing i.e. criticising a dead person, “that were repeatedly used by a late sports journalist, and by ‘late’ I mean deceased rather than not arriving for meetings on time, though he did that as well. And those phrases were’ ‘It is my submission that…’ and ‘It is my proposition that….’ Now, if a journalist has their name at the top of an article, who can be doing the proposing other than that journalist? ‘It is my proposition that’ is unnecessary – the writer should have just got on and said whatever it was that he wanted to say, which was generally not very much.”
“But this journalist had a sickening extension of his stock phrase i.e. ‘It is my humble submission that …’ Now, journalists are many things, but humble is not one of them. They believe they have views and ideas that the rest of the world should know about. By definition, journalists are not humble.”
O’Connor then took a deep breath, and, looking around him to see if anyone was listening, added, “Roving Eye has plenty of writing weaknesses of his own – some words unnecessarily repeated in the same sentence or paragraph; some standard phrases used again, again and again; unnecessary, redundant words that should have been deleted; using every opportunity to draw attention to Fulham’s victories over Manchester United.”
“Indeed, in something that is close to journalistic masturbation; I have even written articles in which I have only quoted myself. But it is my humble submission that I am not arrogant.”
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