You rove me you no rove me?

Happy new month brethren, it is almost Christmas! A friendly reminder: please start putting your January rent aside right now.

I recently watched a movie produced by our dear brothers and sisters in the West of Africa. 

In a scene I really enjoyed, the female lead asked the male lead: “You rav (love) me you no rav me?” (They both had heavy accents). Something about that line struck me deeply. 

Instead of wasting more time wondering where she stood with this man, she courageously asked him that simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.

I know I am African, but this lifestyle of dancing around the bush (we left beating around the bush looooooong time ago) can be very tiring. 

We have been dancing for so many years, surely! When will we rest?

You are invited to something you do not want to attend and instead of turning down the invitation, you ‘enthusiastically’ accept it, only to come up with an excuse two hours to the event, something along the lines of “I just had an attack of diarrhoea,” when in reality you are comfortably seated at home. 

Think of all the food wasted just because you couldn’t gather the courage to say no!

How many frustrated men and women are out there, in agony day and night, losing weight over the question they dare not ask: “You rav me you no rav me?” 

Why is it so difficult to tell another person that you are not interested in them romantically? 

It is an act of kindness and mercy to let them know. And it is not only romance. 

In some cases, it is a friendship that one person is pursuing, dragging the other party reluctantly along with them like a dog dragging a large bone. 

How disappointing it is when they later realise the friendship was one-sided.

I have decided to be that rare African—a straightforward one. I want my ‘yes’ to be ‘yes’ and my ‘no’ to be ‘no’. 

It is not always easy, but I want to respect those in my circles by being honest with them.

May we offer others the rare gift of straightforwardness.