It’s worrying that even weatherman can predict school fees patterns

But he was only asking where he would get fees this time.

“Ebintu byangire, ebishare by’eishomero biraguma birahinduka nk;embeera y’obwire!” his colleague replied as he stroked his unkempt beard.

“Things are bad, fees keep changing like the weather.” That is what the thickly bearded sturdy fellow had said in Rukiga. The two men, Ainomugisha and Byoona, packed their catch of nothing and trudged home. I follow them from my mind, tapping their jazz for whatever disillusioned flow they were tonguing out.

Byoona, in full lament, says the world has become so tough that nowadays the weatherman in Entebbe can be celebrated for predicting that schools will raise fees, adding with emphasis that all this is after years of failing to get rain forecast that farmers badly need.

“It’s funny that they have a lot of sophisticated machines and Uganda Airlines to reach the skies and reveal the truth about weather but they get it wrong, always,” he whines.

“That’s not funny, mate. It’s tragic. We should all be worried when the weatherman finally gets something right,” Ainomugisha replies with a straight face before cocking his head quizzically to ask if it’s really true that Uganda Airlines goes to the skies and can see rain formation in real time.

Byoona swears that it’s very true.

“Remember we have a relative in that place called Najja-something in Entebbe Airport… is it Najjana-what? Anyway, he lives there so he sees all the planes. He told us that Ethiopia and Rwanda have more rain because their Uganda Airlines are doing better than ours so their Uganda Airlines pilots can go with the weatherman higher than ours and they see better rain chances.”

At this point, the wiseacre in me wanted to step in and at least offer some correction but I reminded myself in time that Besigye has always said that the problem with Uganda are the elites. So I sat back in my imaginary jazz-tapping, contented that I wasn’t even using the Israeli technology Uganda Police have procured yet I was able to freely eavesdrop on a conversation between two frustrated fishermen, moreover one happening in the future.

“So what will you do about Phina’s schooling?” Ainomugisha asked his friend.

“Man, it’s eating me up badly. That girl loves school, I wanted to sell some land but the chairman said we wait for Pidem,” Byoona said.

“What is Pidem?” the other asked.

“But you’ve a solar radio, don’t you listen to things? Pidem, that money the President has given us for voting him back.”

“Oh, the parisi thing? I hear they are arresting a lot of big people around for eating it. The chairman said it is Pidem but that some people mistook it for Padem and ate up everything.”

“So Pidem and now Padem, what do you mean? Can it solve my fees issues?”

“I think I saw the chairman write it as three letters. Like P and other two. Just forget it.”

From my imaginary tapping, I couldn’t help but admire the baited innocence of the two friends. Who knew that even fisherman understand that PDM is being taken for Per DieM? In case you are slower upstairs, per diem is a daily allowance for living expenses and this is where the IGG is wrong to harass those making good use of the Per DieM.

I mean, these RDCs and CAOs are mainly people from other regions posted into far off places to work. They need such allowances even if it comes dressed as Parish Development Model.

As I woke up from eavesdropping in 2023 and returned to my present, Benazir arrived from school.

“Today, they taught us about money,” she announced. I surrendered my desk for her to learn more about money from the computer but deep inside, I was scared.

Definitely, it was a plot to get Benazir to remind me of school fees without mentioning it.