Prime
Police impounds drones, then denies it
What you need to know:
- Big fish: We must applaud the Uganda Police Force for earning that bottom dollar. They are working in overdrive, no pun intended, and the public loves it.
- Now we want them to impound the car of a full Cabinet minister. That’s because a State minister is small game.
- We want the really big fish.
During the week, police impounded several vehicles parked at the Inspectorate of Motor Vehicles in Naguru, Kampala.
Among those seized in an early morning operation was a vehicle belonging to a State minister in the Prime Minister’s office and the National Resistance Movement (NRM) chairman for Sironko District.
This is crazy, on so many levels.
It is as crazy as an undercover police officer advertising himself as the best undercover officer in town. So he does his job better, by being more visibly invisible.
Or maybe it is as crazy as R Kelly on Spotify drawing 5.2 million listeners each month. Oh yes, it is true. Owing to R Kelly’s performance across multiple streaming and social-media platforms, the data service Chartmetric ranks him as one of music’s top 500 artists.
Imagine R Kelly was a politician; he would be getting 5.2 million votes every month. Now, that is what I call the “sign of a victory” (wink, wink).
Please, feel free to sing: eh-he-he-he-eh-he-he-he-eh-he-he-he!
Anyway, remember the defender who was beaten by the late Ugandan striker Magid Musisi on both sides of the football pitch at the same time? He was left right on the floor.
This is where the State minister finds himself, on the floor.
Not on the dancefloor doing “the slide”, but on the floor otherwise known as rock bottom.
The State minister is not serious. Why didn’t he turn on those annoying sirens he and his kind use to inconvenience everybody on the road?
If he had done so, he could’ve used the screaming siren to convince the police that he was in a hurry to nowhere and they would have un-impounded his vehicle.
Before we continue, let us talk more about those sirens.
You know, sometimes I think these ministers make sure their sirens wail. So that people can hear their vehicles simulate Ugandans weeping bitterly for the nation.
This way, we can forgive them for wasting taxpayers’ dimes.
Of course, the annoying siren does not serve to appease us.
That’s because the wail sound of a siren gives off a slow but piercing sound like a woooooOOOOooooo. And thus makes every government vehicle in a hurry sound like a constipated owl.
Let’s get back to the non-issue, why don’t we.
Being from Sironko, we are sure the State minister will deny the car even being his and also add “I don’t wear long-sleeved shirts”, for good measure.
When is that, you ask?
Stale jokes aside, we must applaud the Uganda Police Force for earning that bottom dollar. They are working in overdrive, no pun intended, and the public loves it.
Now we want them to impound the car of a full Cabinet minister. That’s because a State minister is small game.
We want the really big fish. Not the fish which appears like a whale but is really a Nile Perch.
Better yet, if we can see the Prime Minister’s car impounded just for just, wananchi would vote NRM back in the next presidential election.
Mzee’s campaign slogan could then change to extol the work done in impounding government vehicles.
Something that says “Impound for Impound best leader” like how Floyd Mayweather calls himself the pound for pound best boxer.
The Opposition would not stand a chance, even without Kibokos. He can then even impound the Movement bus, if it has not already been impounded.
I mean, I have not seen that bus in ages.
Disclaimer: This is a parody column
