Satire: Kaliro teacher beaten over big bet on Unatu strike ending

An agriculture teacher at a seed school in Kaliro is nursing sore lips after taking in several blows from his colleagues over a bet on the recent teachers strike.

The teacher, popularly known as Munafu in Nakabango Parish in Jinja North because “he walks like he has no will another day,” had turned up to remind his colleagues about the bet on the strike but left with bleeding nose and swollen lips instead.

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At the height of the teachers strike, with each news report showing that the teachers union, Unatu, had stood its ground against one attempt to reach a con-sensus after another, two Arts teachers from Iguluibi went thumping their chest.
“It will all end in tears,” Munafu taunted them.

“Not this time. In the past, it was different but now it is about discrimination. There is money as evidenced by the Shs4m [pay rise for Science teachers] so we’re not backing down,” one of the Arts teachers insisted.

The arguments ended in a challenge with Munafu staking his half acre produce of watermelon if Unatu did not walk back to class with “only chalk and chirped lips” at the end of it all. One of the Arts teachers staked his 24 inch flat TV set, the other an old sports bicycle he uses to commute to work.

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After a meeting with the President, Unatu last week called off the strike, leaving in its wake a whirlwind of sour allegations related to bribery and whatnot. But in Nakabango, there was Munafu, for once walking like he had a purpose in life beyond his farm of cabbages and watermelon.

The two Arts teachers first accused Munafu of “smiling unnecessarily” but he ignored them and insisted on carrying with him the bicycle and the TV. Then they accused him of trying to make a living out of a joke that was made outside a theatre.

“You yourself said Unatu is a big joke and now you want to claim what was a mere joke,” one of the Arts teachers said.

“It’s true Unatu is a joke but it’s also true that we’re not Unatu – at least not me,” Munafu insisted, according to witnesses.

The trouble came when Munafu kept on mocking the Unatu agreement, calling it con-sensus and stressing the con as a prefix.

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Scorned that they were being reminded that they had been conned, the two Arts teachers told Munafu even the Shs4m promise for Science teachers was a conman-ship that will not materialise.

“Wait and see, you will soon read in the papers that the government has said there is no money, that Science teachers can wait,” one of the teachers said.
“You want another bet yet your pay rise demand was con-sensused, what will you stake this time? I don’t need your kidneys, just bring my TV and bicycle,” Munafu said.

He told this column he was shoved to the ground and slapped repeatedly when matters got heated as he made to claim the bicycle. But he would not file a case against his attackers.

“They are my friends and I wasn’t actually interested in the items,” he said.
Unatu has reassured teachers of the gains of the industrial action, arguing that this time round they had secured meetings with even the President. The union said it managed to get a few hundred teachers to the meeting with the President unlike in the past.

“Most of our good teachers only see the President on UBC but this time he was right there with us. Addressing him directly, ha! That was a big milestone… something even the Science teachers cannot brag about since the President is treated from Germany, not here,” a Unatu official said.

The union said they were getting ever closer and that during the next industrial action, they might be asked to sleepover at the State House.