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Satire: Speaker loses United-Liverpool bet, sent to pray in Rome
Parliament Speaker Anita Among met with Pope Francis in Italy.
What you need to know:
- Meanwhile, there had been fears that with the way Man United fans celebrated the victory over Liverpool, Tayebwa would turn up to office in the team’s jersey.
- To the relief of the Sergeant at Arms and Parliament staff, however, it was business as usual.
Work without play makes Annet a dull girl, they say. And if you thought the only thing close to football that Speaker Among knows is Fufa boss Moses Magogo, you are in for a shock.
As you read this, Among is in Rome doing penitence and praying for her beloved Liverpool after losing a cheeky bet to her deputy Tayebwa.
With Manchester United digging the trenches of the Premier League, the meeting with Liverpool on Monday was a foregone conclusion to all Liverpool fans.
Among wasn’t any different. She goaded Man United diehard Tayebwa the entire week before the clash.
“I promise you that you’ll pull every hair follicle on your head Monday night and I am already informing the Sergeant at Arms to receive you with respect when they see a bald man arriving on Tuesday in your car,” Among told his deputy.
“And if we win? We’re beating you,” Tayebwa fired back.
“That won’t happen. It will be Mo Salah raining in goals as Maguire quarrels with De Gea over back passes.”
“Let’s bet, it makes it fun.”
“Anything, but my seat, right?”
“Deal. We’re beating Liverpool and after that, you must go and repent to the gods who deceived you. You’ll wear a Man United jersey and pay your respects.”
Among accepted the challenge.
On Tuesday, Tayebwa arrived with his mane of hair in full grey as Among packed up to honour her end of the bet.
“I have left for Rome, Italy, on the invitation of the Holy See,” she tweeted.
The Speaker was clad in a grey Adidas tracksuit, the zipper pulled to the neck, apparently to conceal the Man United jersey she had on.
“I will have the opportunity to greet the Holy Father at the conclusion of the general audience. I look forward to a fulfilling experience with the Holy Father and fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ,” her tweet added.
The Holy See is the universal government of the Catholic Church and operates from Vatican City State, a sovereign, independent territory. The Pope is the ruler of both Vatican City State and the Holy See.
Asked to confirm that the Speaker had run to Rome on a penitent trip after Liverpool lost, Sabiti, the principal press secretary, said all he was aware of is that “she knows more about Liverpool than Aldrine Nsubuga can claim.”
“Liverpool’s start to the Premier League season is embarrassing so it’s only natural that the Speaker should pray for them. Certainly, her deputy did not send her to Rome,” Sabiti said.
Esagala, who speaks for Tayebwa, said he was only aware of his boss reminding the Speaker that Manchester United were above Liverpool in the Premier League table.
On Wednesday night, Among tweeted pictures of herself meeting Pope Francis but only quoted Philemon 4:6. She did not say whether the Catholic head had interceded for Liverpool.
At the time of reading this, Kabushenga had yet to say a word on Among’s tweet even as some followers anticipated the coffee farmer would be asking for more rosaries to sell now that Pinetti is disrupting coffee deals.
Meanwhile, there had been fears that with the way Man United fans celebrated the victory over Liverpool, Tayebwa would turn up to office in the team’s jersey. To the relief of the Sergeant at Arms and Parliament staff, however, it was business as usual.
“The boss is aware it [the win over Liverpool] might be just a passing cloud so he can’t get overly excited just yet,” Esagala said in this made-up story.
