Too much stress into this third month of Janworry

The 2023 calendar alleges that today is Janworry 15. I need the Constitutional Court to impugn this allegation from the calendar because it has been like two months into this month alone already.
I was thinking of involving lawyer Eron Kizza in this but my psychologist predicted my thoughts and said to stop.
“You’ve come this far already, just fasten your seatbelt and hold on tight for a few more months,” the PLT said.
Doreen, the Pretty Little Thing, pointed me to the many things happening around us to try and convince me that my frustration with the slowness of this Janworry month is on the good side compared to what others are going through.
“You’re eating, sleeping and farting freely,” she said naughtily.
Frankly speaking, I enjoyed the joke on my favourite pastime.
“You haven’t even imagined what others are going through this month, like Pretty Nicole or those birds,” she added.
“Which birds?” I asked rather nonchalantly.
“The barn swallows.”
“What are those? Whose Janworry rice have they eaten?”
“Stupid, don’t you read the news? The birds that forced a bigger metallic bird back to the ground after it flew into their airspace.”
It sunk in. Just like the Turkish Airbus A330 engine had sucked in the poor birds. But Doreen is adamant that those birds committed suicide due to Janwory. She said the Airbus is too big and noisy for the barn swallows not to have noticed.
I swallowed and took my place. When a psychologist speaks, you don’t challenge lest you be considered a psycho and graduated from seeing a psychologist to psychiatrist.
“Why are you so quiet?” the PLT suddenly demanded to know.
“Because you’re talking.”
“But I’m talking to you… with you.”
“Yes, indeed, we are.”
“Do you know that the chaps at Uganda Human Rights Commission (UHRC) envy you a lot right now?”
“Why would anyone envy a jobless broke guy who spends all his time listening to old Congolese music?”
Doreen laughed. She said music was therapeutic and that while I still could take the pleasure in music, the chaps at UHRC had been dealt a huge one by the Constitutional Court’s annulment o the offensive communication law.
She was right. I still can’t believe that up to the time of writing this, the alleged human rights leadership had not yet come out to condemn the court. Either they called a press conference and no journalist turned up or the world is just acting up on us all.
Imagine what Parliament would feel like if shame existed in Uganda. But knowing what we are, Asadu is probably drafting a more bizarre Bill from under the wigs of the Speaker and her deputy.
“You’ll worsen things in your head if you keep thinking about those alleged human rights guys or Parliament,” Doreen said.
She was right. Something flashed on Twitter. The chap who handles Hamis Kiggundu’s account had decided that we can have a little bit of laughter with an update of the status of Nakivubo Stadium construction. The Admin shared images of what they termed us “progress.”
Well, it was like moving from Janworry 1 to Janworry 15 and you feel like you haven’t yet even made half the days of the month.
As if to connive to torture us with their jokes, the roads authority decided to release an image it claimed was of part of the flyover in Kampala. If you told us that one of the passengers in the Airbus had taken the image while praying for dear life as the plane hovered over Kampala, you would be paid cash.
And that is how I ended up with Kapo, the only chap who proved worthwhile this week. A Chelsea fan had tweeted his positive energy before his team took on Manchester City in the FA Cup.
After the 4-0 thumping, this fella, Kapo, told the Chelsea guy that everything he supported failed.
“Please never support oxygen, we’ll die,” Kapo told the distraught fella who must have felt like he was the last passenger to board the Turkish Airbus.
My prayer is that Kapo’s Chelsea guy does not count the days left of Janworry otherwise we will be hovering in this bad month until we have dumped enough fuel to execute an emergency landing.