Wedding dream comes true for cancer patient

A terminally ill cancer patient who “just wanted to die” has decided that it is not the end after all following his wedding.

The couple, Richard and Sylvia – who insisted on not being identified for personal reasons – were last month wed from home after Hospice Africa Uganda (HAU) made it possible for Richard’s supposed dying wish by organising the solemn vow that was conducted by The Rev Kiwanuka Sebunya from St Luke’s Anglican Church, Makindye.

Richard no longer wants to die.

“We are so happy that Richard will spend Christmas at home with his new wife and daughter, as well as his mother who has come to Kampala to help out,” Dee Ryan, an Irish doctor who is currently volunteering at HAU, told Daily Monitor days before Christmas.

Dejected

In acute pain, dejected and depressed, Richard had earlier told the Hospice team that attended to him that he just wanted to end it all – with death.

But he had a partner and a daughter whose future ate into his conscience like the festering wound caused by a tumour on his neck.

Richard, 34, felt that if only he was legally wed to Sylvia, he wouldn’t close his eyes worrying that she would find it hard fitting in his family and inheriting anything for his 4-year-old daughter, Sarah.

When Richard was first seen by the hospice team, he had a large, deep wound in the left side of his neck, and his pain was very difficult to control as the tumour continued to grow, even with morphine.

According to Dr Ryan, the patient was down and depressed, and told the hospice team when they visited him in his home that he wanted to die.

Through a holistic approach to palliative care, the clinical team set about supporting him and his partner not only in pain management, but with spiritual and psychological support.

Richard’s biggest fear was that after his death, Sylvia and his daughter Sarah would not be able to stay in the family home and would be left destitute, with no claim to his property.

He expressed his wish to get married, but the family did not have the means.

Richard, and his new bride, Sylvia, have been together for several years and have a four-year-old daughter, Sarah.

But they have never gotten around to getting married.

Wedding wish comes true

The HAU team played a key role in making  the couple realise their dream.

The team invited the local pastor as well as some close family and friends to witness their formal union.

The happy couple wed last month in their home. Family members from both sides travelled for the solemn ceremony.

A student nurse on placement with HAU donated her wedding dress to Sylvia and another HAU staff member baked a wedding cake.

Their daughter was also christened on the same day, and the family remembered their other child, Sarah’s twin, who had sadly passed away during infancy.

Remarkably, within days of the wedding, Richard’s pain began to be controlled using similar doses of morphine to before. He described feeling like he no longer wanted to die, and said he had been shown how there were reasons God wanted him to continue living.

Dr Ryan said the change in Richard’s mood after the wedding is remarkable.

“While Richard has suffered some complications, such as bleeding from the wound, the clinical team has largely been able to control his symptoms including the pain which was previously overwhelming,” he said.

The HAU team also helped his daughter to understand her father’s illness, and she no longer feared it, spending quality time with him.

Richard was diagnosed with neck cancer in 2020, and despite surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy his cancer progressed this year and he was referred to HAU for end-of-life care and pain control.

Hospice Africa Uganda, based in Makindye, Kampala City, has supported almost 40,000 people with home-based palliative care in Uganda in the last three decades.

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