Monique Nkakaire was resilient in the face of adversity

Reflection on her last years, during which she battled a devastating cancer, reminded me of her incredible resilience in the face of a lethal enemy. Monique was supposed to have yielded quickly to her advanced non-Hodgkin B-cell lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system, that had silently crept up on her by the time she arrived in Canada to join her husband eleven years ago.

Notwithstanding the excellent medical care that she received, the stage (extent) of her disease had put her at a high risk of death, with only 25 percent of people in her state surviving five years after diagnosis.

When her cancer specialists in Vancouver informed her that the options for effective treatment were limited, Monique took her chances with a drug combination that she knew might have potentially severe side effects.  Those side effects often wore her down to levels that would have discouraged many from continuing the treatment.

She persisted and fought with all the survival powers she could mobilize from her evidently unlimited source of inner strength.
When doctors recognized that the medicinal treatment had not yielded the desired results and advised her that her very last hope was hematopoietic stem cell transplantation (HSCT) in Washington, DC, she accepted to go for it.

This procedure involved infusing immature cells into her blood with the hope that these would re-establish healthy blood cell production. It was a risky, experimental procedure that did not guarantee a cure for her disease. The resolute fighter in her underwent HSCT and returned to her home in Canada with hope and determination to continue living and serving.

Throughout her 10-year illness, her husband, James Kikira Mugisha, a medical doctor himself, spared nothing to ensure that she received the best care and support. Of course, Dr Mugisha was very concerned, as were those in whom Monique confided the details of her illness.  However, Monique’s reassurance that she was feeling better and looking forward to recovery was always comforting to her comforters.

Even days before her death, when she was in hospital, speaking with a weak voice, Monique managed to laugh with my wife and I during what turned out to be our final conversation. She knew the odds were against her, but she spoke as one who expected to see us again. This was courage founded on faith. This was a fight with little room for fear. It was a moment that made my self-pity and worries about small things so utterly foolish.

Monique’s resilience during an unrelenting advance of an aggressive cancer did not surprise those who had known her for many years.  She had faced and overcome many challenges, including the death of her son, the death of a sibling and her parents, and a catastrophic loss of a once flourishing business.

Renowned in the 1970s and 1980s for her store, Monique Fashions in Nairobi, she relocated to Uganda in 1986 and started School Outfitters Uganda Limited. This was the country’s first large scale uniform manufacturing, distributing and sales company. Her business flourished and contributed to job creation at a time when the country was emerging from economic collapse. Her financial position and standard of living were a just reward for her hard work and business acumen.

However, everything collapsed in less than 20 years. Bankruptcy set it. She lost her business. People whom she had generously helped with financial support in their hour of need were unable or unwilling to return the favour. Dark clouds engulfed her.

Yet she did not lose hope. Instead, she reached into her reserves of humility, shed her past as managing director of a successful business, and began to look for opportunities to do “kyeyo” in the United States where her sisters lived.

Her plans were pleasantly changed by beautiful divine interference. Dr. Mugisha, who had been her boyfriend when the two were young students, came calling. Their love affair was rekindled, and they married in 2011. Monique joined her husband in Canada, and looked forward to a happy life, new business ventures and grand motherhood. She embarked on education in business and finance management and started working in sales.

Then her disease was discovered.
However, in between her hospitalizations, Monique continued to pursue her education and to work. She remained a pillar to her family and a very loving wife. In every one of our conversations, she spoke with tenderness about her husband’s generosity and acknowledged that without him she would have probably succumbed to her illness years ago. Her husband described Monique as a woman who loved peace, held no grudges and, on the rare occasions that she was upset, would very readily apologise.

Her business losses were a source of strength for her. She spoke of the lessons about the futility of most human pursuits. Her husband affirmed that Monique was not materialistic. She was always interested in the wellbeing of others, at times forgetting her own needs.

Monique readily acknowledged errors that she had made in her life. She owned those errors, apologized to those she had offended and sought peace with all. Peace was a constant theme she weaved into our conversations. Whereas she may not have had a chance to apologize to everyone, I speak with confidence that she took all her failures and sins to the Cross of Jesus Christ and was forgiven when she accepted Him as her Lord and Saviour.

Monique was blessed with a beautiful physical smile, now stilled. She happily shared her intellect and wisdom, now lost to us. What remains are beautiful memories of her love for her family and friends, her love of life for which she fought her final battle with extraordinary resolve. She had humility, a warm spirit and reliable friendship without conditions. An unforgettable lady.

Mulera is a medical doctor.  [email protected]