It is telling when a thief doesn’t bother putting effort into their heist

The robbers were policemen, some assigned to the couple’s security. They knew that the couple always kept large sums of money in the house and waited for an opportune moment to strike. When the day came, they disabled the camera and alarm systems and went for the jugular.

But it would seem that the bags were too many and too heavy so some of them were ditched in a banana plantation in the neighborhood and abandoned there. They then made a hasty retreat to their homes in Nsambya barracks, where they shared the loot.  An uncle of one of them, from Namutumba district, was given Shs220 million. The other three got their share of as much. The Boda guy too. One civilian who had been part of the heist hadn’t made it to the barracks and disappeared with his loot. And the money that was dumped on the banana plantation? 

Well, a certain Samuel Opio chanced on it while grazing goats and started to make it rain in the village, which raised his boss’ suspicion. When the boss figured out what the gist was, he grabbed it and ran into hiding in his village in Buikwe. Do you see the plot, where those supposed to serve and protect instead turn into plunderers but don’t even bother to be smart about it?

That story is instructive of the goings-on in Uganda’s power circles, in light of the revelations of the reported profligate spending and blatant theft of public funds happening in Uganda’s Parliament. In a country like Uganda, you can expect that money will get stolen by politicians and crooked civil servants with any level of access. In places like ours where the economy is in a rut, people find refuge in politics because that is where the easy money is.

The net effect is that many people looking to join politics are either thieves or looking to become thieves. In the end, there is no difference between the effort that goes into the brute midnight robbery and the mind numbing requisitions getting approved out of Parliament’s Finance and Accounts office.

Where a low-level policeman will tactlessly dump part of his loot in a banana plantation, reconvene in his Mama-Ingia-Pole to redistribute the proceeds, cause inflation in the neighbourhood and flee into hiding in their village, the guys at Parliament are not approaching their version of events with any more deftness.

From requisitions that exceed the number of days in a month to depositing hundreds of millions supposedly meant for official business on personal accounts, buying luxurious rides for lovers, building mansions that far exceed stated incomes, and everything between that. Socio Political commentators often talk about a drop in human capital standards and nothing could be truer for our case. How else do you explain the fact that there is no difference between the post-theft behaviour of a lowly robber and that of a Member of Parliament?

This also points to the wider crisis for Uganda, where those with access to money – however they manage it – are obsessed with consumerism. Outside of hotels, apartment blocks, fancy cars, foreign trips and extra sexual partners, it is not clear where else the money is spent. No public libraries, no venture capital funds, no model schools and hospitals, no factories, no large coffee plantations, no usefulness.

The good news for Uganda is that this will not go on forever. It is the consequence of transition politics where the inevitability of change at the top is forcing irrational behaviour among those who feel that they need certain defences against an unknown future. The stealing will no doubt continue regardless of who comes in after but they will be different people and probably go about it with a little smarter.

Benjamin Rukwengye is the founder, Boundless Minds. @Rukwengye