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Kadaga, Oulanyah and when there are no more damsels to give in the village
There is a horror video doing the rounds on social media – outgoing Deputy Speaker of Parliament Jacob Oulanyah licking every speck of dust, mud and whatever else, off President Museveni’s shoes, in public, broad daylight, cameras rolling. “Horror,” because anyone who has known Oulanyah for a while knows he is a gifted individual – intelligent, likeable, great orator, good (very good) lawyer and excellent legislator.
There is another video that preceded Oulanyah’s on social media – an official meeting in Zaire (now Democratic Republic of Congo), three or so decades ago – at which state officials clapped and danced as they sang praises to then president, the accomplished despot, Mobutu Sese Seko Kuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga as he sat on his throne, soaking in the praise and worship, contentment written across his face. If there was at least one church in the world that worshipped God as nicely as that, The Ancient of Days would in all likelihood be so happy, He’d abolish Hell and Judgment Day and immediately introduce Paradise ahead of time.
And here was a Ugandan rendition of the same: Mr Oulanyah in passionate adulation of his President, as the latter sat smugly, soaking in the praise and worship with relish.
“You promised the people of this country a fundamental change – and delivered it. You have transformed our security, stability…Your Excellency you are a promise keeper. You have never made a promise to Ugandans that you did not keep. We have moved away from change by bullets to change by ballots. We have moved from human wrongs to human rights. Other people are preaching destruction, fear…for you, you stand for hope. Blah, blah, blah…” Utter drivel! Out-and-out bunkum!
To his credit nonetheless, even our finest preachers in Uganda don’t preach this well. In fact, if Oulanyah turned preacher of the Gospel, he’d easily convince and convert half the country.
Yet quite easily Oulanyah’s lowest moment: if ever there was any doubt that Oulanyah should be Speaker of Parliament, replacing Rebecca Kadaga, he himself has firmly endorsed every such doubt. The office of Speaker is such a high calling in a democracy, you cannot expect Mr Oulanyah, armed with a manifestly compromised disposition to hold the President and the Executive arm of the State accountable. He has neither the spine nor the strategic intent to do so.
It is enough that Ms Kadaga – it’s silly to call a spade a big spoon - has already made a complete mockery of the Office of Speaker of Parliament. Consider her disgraceful expeditions into shrines of witchdoctors, in a nation whose motto is clearly “For God and My Country.” Consider that under her watch Parliament has become a total wreck: corruption has increased and the House has had no problems passing legislation that has diametrically undermined the intentions of the Constitution she took oath to defend.
And no Speaker worth her salt would allow the House to be raided by armed goons, have them beat up Members of Parliament and say nothing to condemn the heinous act. It shows that either she was part of the reprehensible and despicable conspiracy, which in essence made her no longer fit for the office; or she was too weak to firmly and unequivocally stand up to the Executive – which, again, in essence, made her no longer fit for the office.
A Speaker who has the House under her full control does not require soldiers – many of whom, it must be said, earn their ranks by attacking unarmed civilians – to desecrate the sanctity of Parliament.
If the nation is still debating whether it is Ms Kadaga or Mr Oulanyah that should be Speaker, it means we are complete idiots that have no idea what the role of Parliament in a democracy is.
Or we are like a young man who feels stranded when there is simply no marriage-worthy damsel left in the village to espouse and he has to settle for one of two really bad ones remaining. Oh, and there is of course the outside chance that fate, as it so often does, just might take the dubious pleasure of ensuring the poor boy ends up with both, just to wreck his life completely.
Mr Tegulle is an advocate of the High Court of Uganda
