Wedding rings. Court has ordered a woman in Kanungu District to pay her former fiancé more than Shs10 million as compensation for breach of the promise to marry him.
In a move that has set hearts racing and tempers flaring, the highly anticipated Marriage Bill, 2024, introduced by the Ms Sarah Achieng Opendi, the Member of Parliament for Tororo District, was unveiled in Parliament for its first reading on October 3.
Hidden within the folds of this proposed Bill lies a multitude of contentious clauses, among others, a mandate for parental consent in Christian marriages.S.5 (d) of the Bill categorically declares, “A Christian marriage shall be celebrated with consent of parents to the parties” and the word “shall” leaves no room for ambiguity. It’s a command, a mandate, a compulsory stipulation that binds all who wish to marry in Christian ceremony to seek parental approval, regardless of their legal independence.
Ironically, the very same bill acknowledges adulthood and autonomy under Section 14, setting the minimum marriage age at 18 which also confirms to Article 31 of the Constitution. This mirrors our Constitution’s definition of majority under Article 31 (1) and (3), affirming the right of an adult to make personal decisions.
A parent’s blessing in marriage carries profound weight. One might assume this parental consent requirement mirrors the blessing, which is rooted in faith. Now, what should be a blessing, rooted in faith and love is yet to be twisted into law. But actual problem is the wording of this proposed law.
In today’s world, we still see parents stubbornly denying their children’s right to love simply because their chosen partners fall outside a particular tribe or social standing. Some are resolute in their religious convictions, even vowing to shun their children’s weddings altogether if the ceremonies are to be conducted outside the magnificent cathedral buildings. And what of a Muslim daughter, deeply in love with a Christian fiancé, now required by law to present consent from parents who will definitely disapprove on religious grounds?
I’m not here to in anyway denigrate the significance of this parental consent – there are times when a parent’s refusal is grounded in principle perhaps even a concern that could save lives. But binding these personal, often complex judgments into law casts an unforgiving shadow over what should be a choice made with love, wisdom, and personal conviction.
Again, nowhere does the Bill clarify who a parent for purposes of this consent is. Except that the groom or bride didn’t come from their loins, there are people who by all standards qualify to be parents regardless of the existence of biological parents. It is also not clear whether consent from both parents is required or if one parent’s approval will suffice.
Imagine this scenario: a mother in her wisdom wholeheartedly grants her consent, yet the father stubbornly withholds it. What then? And what if consent is unreasonably withheld? Should a parent’s silent, unexplained refusal be an impediment to the marriage? Such a refusal must, at the very least, be documented in writing, detailing the precise reasons for denial.
In the same vein, the marriage registrar should hold the authority to assess the reasons for refusal, to weigh them with discernment and judgment. If a parent’s denial is indeed substantial, posing a legitimate impediment to the marriage, then let it be so. But if the refusal is rooted in prejudice, unfounded fears, or superficial biases, the registrar must have the liberty to disregard it.
The Bible offers this timeless wisdom: “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they grow, they shall not depart from it.” For every parent withholding consent, one must ask: did they not raise their child with values to make sound choices? If they believe in the strength of their guidance, why deny their child’s judgment in love? Herein lies a profound question – when wishes collide, whose desires should yield?
Should the dreams of an adult child, armed with their own beliefs and understanding, be sacrificed at the altar of parental authority? Or should a parent, trusting in the very values they’ve instilled, release their child to choose freely, to love freely?
Ms Eunice Ainembabazi is a practicing Advocate and Partner at Reeve Advocates.
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