Shalita’s ‘chained hot air’, why Otafiire resigned and Aceng didn’t

People already knew how unpredictable Otafiire could be – a nice chap who had the rather interesting habit of being very happy one minute and very angry the next and vice versa, choosing rather interesting moments to fly off the handle; but they hadn’t thought he could go this far. Mercifully he didn’t shoot her or ‘fire one up’ just to make a point.

Such was the ethical ballast of the government of the day that a week or so later, the minister resigned; something that sent ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaaahs’ throughout the country, as people praised the new regime.

President Museveni, two years in power then, had no sympathies for Otafiire and declared that under his watch, it didn’t matter how powerful you were – you had to go.

Otafiire later bounced back. But his unpredictability was the stuff of legends. The ultimate confirmation – if you like – came one fine morning, when a journalist at The Monitor, busy in the middle of writing a story suddenly realised there was an obvious story that had been hiding in plain sight for years, waiting to be written.

When the spellcheck of his computer raised a red flag on a politician’s name, Stephen Shalita, fascinated by the suggested alternate spelling, abandoned what he’d been writing and started running several politicians’ names through the spellcheck. One name stood out: Kahinda Otafiire.

The in-vogue software at the time – mid-90s – must have been “Word Perfect”. If today’s kids look at it now, they will laugh till the ribs hurt. Either way, the computer told Shalita it didn’t know anyone – or anything – called Kahinda Otafiire and suggested he replace him with “Chained Hot Air”.

Had the article, something like “computer suggests new names for our politicians”, which appeared on The Monitor’s Page 3, been written today, it would have gone viral on social media. It was the talk of the town for quite a while. Everyone familiar with Otafiire agreed the computer was just about right.

For us readers, it was a powerful article that showed just how gifted Shalita was. But then again, like I said last week, he was one of a crop of brilliant, talented, independent-minded journalists who set their own rules, did what they wanted with their pens and thrilled their fans.

Great departure from the mostly flat, monotonous, boring, boot-licking chaps who we’d been used to in the old days.

Shalita’s sizzler of a piece came to mind when Health minister Jane Ruth Aceng came under fire for holding a public meeting in Lira District, last month, in a manner that expressly breached her own rules laid down in the Statutory Instruments under the Public Health Act.

No face mask. No social distancing. No public rallies. She expressly ridiculed her own laws and the government she represents.
Had Dr Aceng done what she did in the early days of the Museveni administration, she’d have had no choice but to resign.

Instead, the President that roundly condemned Otafiire in 1988 came out to explain – using every lame excuse under the sun – why Dr Aceng shouldn’t be crucified. Lucky girl; she’ll live till 90. Museveni…he’s changed. Otafiire…same old same!
Like the great Stephen Shalita said; Chained Hot Air.

Mr Tegulle is an advocate of the High Court of Uganda

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