Counsel your child as they return to school
What you need to know:
Whether a child is a candidate or not, they are all expected to excel in order for them to go on to another class/level
Our children will return to school next week. Others are reporting this week. It’s mostly the final term of the year and a promotional term.
Every term comes with its own fears and anxiety. As a parent, you need to sit with your children, check their concerns, and give counsel.
We also have candidates who will sit their final exams soon. Such counsel speaks to their mental well-being.
Whether a child is a candidate or not, they are all expected to excel in order for them to go on to another class/level. This requires them to work hard, concentrate and stay focused. Please remind your child that this term is so short and it calls for serious revision and concentration.
If the performance was not to your expectations the last term, encourage them to work hard. Don’t remind a child how dull s/he is. Such words destroy even the little self-assurance a child has. Proverbs 18:21 says that death and life are in the power of the tongue; it can kill or nourish life. You can speak better than that, even when you seem discouraged. Give a positive package to your child because out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing (James 3:9).
Parents, especially fathers, are spiritual leaders and priests of their children and therefore support them in prayers. Have a special session to pray with them before the opening of the term and continually – ask them their prayer requests, use scriptures as you pray, and prophesy upon them.
Also share about strategies of improvement in subjects they don’t perform well as they report back to school. As you take your child to school, try to develop good relationships with teachers and take their contacts, especially those who handle such subjects or for any questions and concerns.
You can also ask your child about any teacher s/he feels comfortable with and who can help them to register good performance.
Times are tough but as a parent ensure that your child has minimal disruptions at school by providing them the necessary requirements such as school fees, books, personal effects and pocket money.
It’s better for you as a parent to pay all school fees, especially for your candidate children. Where possible, inform the school headteacher about your inability to meet all requirements on time, and your child/ren shouldn’t be chased out of school.
On the other hand, schools should also be considerate, knowing that not all parents are at the same level of development, though they manage to bring children into their schools. Some even get loans at the beginning of every term for the sake of their children’s good education.
During the term, please check on them regularly and give them psychological support, pray with them, and see how they are progressing. They will know that you care, and they will be inspired to work hard to avoid disappointing you.
You can attend their classes once in a while and evaluate their activeness in class, and when you are having conversations with them, you speak from an informed point of observation directly from their classroom.
Some of us may look at that as a waste of time, or we may make excuses for always being busy. If we can commit so much time to meetings at the workplace or church or social gatherings and networking almost daily, why can’t we commit time to our children’s class time since we are struggling for them?
It is very prudent that both parents take their children to school together. It should not be work for one parent every term. There are some men who only stop at paying fees, but issues of visitation days, regular checks on children, and every child’s call from school are a responsibility of a mother.
The journey of parenting is holistic and it’s for both of you to be fully involved. If you stop at paying fees and think it is enough, you may be out of their lives tomorrow.
Children will never visit you but send you all the support you need by phone or bank. Why? You too were never in their lives. I wish you and your child a very fruitful third term, 2022.
Dickson Tumuramye
Child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counsellor, and founder – Men of Purpose mentorship programme
