I get attracted to elderly women. Is it wrong?

I get sexually attracted to elderly women. There have been instances in the past where I have had relationships with women who were a number of years older than me.

A few of my friends who are aware of my choice have advised me to seek professional help. However, if I fall in love with an older woman, is it wrong to marry them? Please help.  Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

People fall in love for various reasons. Some seek companionship while others are searching for love to fill the gaps left by the many challenges they may have faced earlier in their life.

Some are attracted to intelligence while others to outside beauty.

Age in itself is considered just a number by some people. It may not be clear as to why you particularly get attracted to older women and so, this needs self-examination. 

It may not be wrong for you to marry someone older as long as you are doing this from an informed perspective.  

It is also important to take into consideration some of these aspects before you make a decision to marry a woman older than you.

Usually, it is much safer not to exceed an age difference of five years as this would mean you are not so far apart in terms of age.

Stages of development have a meaning at each stage in one’s life.

For example, if you consider marrying an older woman, have you considered not having children since women have a biological clock? If you have put this into consideration, then you might be on the right track. 

Take time to find out what you want from an older woman. Research shows that many people who tend to look out for older partners may have missed a mother or father figure in childhood and, therefore, they might feel more comfortable with an older spouse.

It is also true that some young men get into relationships with older women just because of the financial benefits they come with. This may not necessarily apply to you but if it does, seek support from a counsellor.

There are many success stories of thriving relationships between partners with a significant age difference.

In case you want to still take this direction, do an introspection and find out what drives you to this. 

This will enable you to know if you are true to yourself or if you are struggling with esteem issues. 

Otherwise, I have seen many people do this amicably. If it bothers you, then book an appointment with a counsellor who will help you discuss the advantages and disadvantages of such a relationship, which will help you make an informed decision.

81% Satisfaction
According to a survey by blog.gitnux.com, 81 percent of women in relationships with younger men report high levels of relationship satisfaction.

This statistic is a powerful testament to the potential success of older woman younger man relationships.

It shows that when these relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding, they can be incredibly fulfilling and satisfying for both partners.

This statistic is a reminder that age is just a number, and that love can be found in unexpected places.

Reader Advice

Examine yourself
Jane Nabanakulya. 
There is nothing wrong in being attracted to women older than you.

From what you have shared with us, it would be best if you could introspect as to what is it that is attracting you to an older woman.

Is it the physical attractiveness or intellectual maturity or something else that is appealing to you?

In case your attraction is towards a woman who is married, is it the excitement of engaging in an extra-marital affair that is alluring you? Introspection will give you a better understanding of yourself.

Watch your friends

David Mukisa. 
It seems that you are upset with the criticism you are getting from your friends.

It would be better to maintain some distance from the people who are continuously condemning you since it is impacting you in a negative way.

You can also try to explain to them that everybody has a different perspective and it is absolutely normal to feel this way.

This might make them understand your situation and all the criticism might come to an end eventually.

Attraction is not a choice

George Everitt. 
It is not wrong at all.  Attraction is not a choice, we like what we like.  

If you are not sexually attracted to her, you may want to consider whether you want to embark on a long term monogamous relationship with her, if that is even an option.  

If you want to be her friend, then be her friend. There is no problem being friends with an older woman without having sexual feelings for her.  

It is your choice
Ian Morrison. 
Not at all. You are both adults. If you have a connection, then it is okay. There are all sorts of attractions. Romantic, intellectual, physical.

My best friend is actually a woman a few years older than me.

My girlfriend was wary of her when we first started going out but now she and my best friend are great pals. So if you like this woman, see where it goes. 

There are advantages

Zainab Ibrahim. 
Please marry your older woman. They are much more stable and mature. You will be able to settle down and if you are also serious, this is a relationship that can last. But first make sure that this is what you want.

Feelings do not age
Silver Okiror.

Society has made us believe that a man ought to marry a woman younger than him. I realised that this was solely on the fact that women age faster than men.

In this case, emotions or feelings and a healthy living are factored out of the equation.

I think it is just people’s mindset. I do not see anything wrong with loving a woman slightly older than you.

They also have the same feelings and affection a man needs. It is not that feelings become out dated or obsolete as one grows.

Marry someone young
Rose Ssemakula. 
l would encourage you to marry someone within your age bracket because this way, you have someone with whom to discuss several things and enjoy many other things without the fear of being judged.