Is it possible to remain objective when it comes to loved ones?

There was a time when all Ugandans shared a common understanding of news and media, often discussing the latest episodes of shows such as That’s Life Mwattu together. Entire offices and classrooms would gather to analyse Nakawunde’s latest shortcomings and reach a consensus on the unfolding drama. However, with the advent of the digital revolution, the landscape of entertainment and information has fragmented. Now, only a few of us still tune in to the 9 o'clock news.

While our news often follows familiar patterns; covering visiting dignitaries, launching a well and unfortunate incidents in rural areas, once in a while, there are stories that make you stop and reflect on your own values and beliefs. They challenge us to examine what we consider right and wrong, prompting deeper introspection about our societal norms and personal convictions.

Recently, one of the local channels aired a story about two teenagers who were defiled by their teacher who also happened to be their uncle. This story in itself is not new, which is a sad fact but what I found intriguing about it is that when the errant teacher was arrested, his elderly father stood before the cameras and claimed he believed his son was innocent and that his grandchildren were accusing him falsely.

While we understand that false rumours can lead to wrongful arrests, it is difficult to defend someone accused of sexual impropriety, as such matters are inherently private. This raises the question; why would a parent choose to publicly support their child in situations that cannot be easily substantiated?

In another story, a young man hacked his father’s seven Friesian cows to death after a misunderstanding that caused his father to stop giving him free milk.

The police dog led the authorities and the entire search party to the young man's compound , just as the father had predicted that his son was the primary suspect. Even then, the suspect’s mother and some siblings defended him. This made me wonder; can we truly remain objective when it comes to our loved ones?

Does taking a contrary stance signify disloyalty? Should unwavering support for our family members, even in the face of uncertainty about their innocence, be our only position?

One of the most devastating events that can occur within a family is when one member commits a crime against another. Such incidents can fracture family bonds, as one faction demands justice for the victim while another seeks reconciliation and, at times, even attempts to cover up the wrongdoing to maintain peace. However, can true harmony exist without confronting the situation with honesty? Can there ever be genuine healing without open acknowledgment of the issues at hand?

Unfortunately, family members often lack the courage to address the underlying problems, leading to a division between those who support the offender and those who advocate for justice. 

In the name of preserving family harmony, we may inadvertently encourage enabling behaviours that ultimately harm the offender more than they help.

Expecting our loved ones to take responsibility for their actions is not a sign of disloyalty; rather, it reflects a commitment to the truth. Supporting an offender can sometimes do more harm than good, especially when it prevents them from facing reality.

Mental health professionals recommend several strategies to foster understanding and resolution within families. One effective approach is to hold a family meeting where everyone can voice their thoughts and feelings. Such gatherings can prevent further conflict and allow for constructive dialogue, as unresolved issues can fester and create a more volatile environment.

In some cases, it may be beneficial to involve a neutral, trusted third party to help family members navigate the complex emotions that often arise in these situations. 

These moments also offer an opportunity for families to reflect on their values and beliefs. While we often impose rules and consequences on others, applying the same standards to our loved ones can be challenging.

Though we may hesitate to cast stones aware that we all live in glass houses, remaining silent in the face of wrongdoing ultimately undermines our integrity. Taking a firm stand when necessary is essential for fostering accountability and growth within the family.