What if one opts for online kukyaala?

“A few weeks later, Sarah mentioned to that mutual friend that she was unhappy about the relationship she was in then. At that point, that friend connected us,” he explains.

Daniel, who had been away for studies in New Zealand, had met someone he cared for and could not let distance stop him.

During their communication, Sarah swept him off his feet and he felt the need to kukyaala. The couple settled for an online kukyaala. 

Daniel explains that it would not be feasible to fly back home for the ceremony yet they had to plan for other functions.

“I made my intentions clear to our parents and they were very supportive to make it happen,” he recounts.

Sarah says their distant circumstances encouraged them to keep honouring God and themselves.

“We had to go ahead and organise our kukyaala, the introduction and wedding ceremonies virtually to work round the clock,” she explains.

Daniel says for one to settle for an online kukyaala, it depends on their circumstances.

“Kukyaala is an opportunity for one to make their intentions known to the bride’s family and negotiation of bride price. As long as the two families are okay with it, then why not,” he explains.

He believes that virtual kukyaala not only saves money in a long-distance relationship but also saves time.

He urges couples that are intending to do an online kukyaala to ahead and take the bold step.

“Just make sure you are serious about each other, if you are convinced that you should get married go ahead and do it,” he advises.

Not comfortable

 Martha Emochu, says despite the evolving world she would not opt for an online kukyaala.

“I am conservative and I do not think I would opt for an online kukyaala because I believe that my family would have to see this person physically. There is something about physical meetings,” she notes.

Emochu adds that physical meetings are more interactive.

“There is something special about meeting people in person than virtual. You feel the pulse and emotions on spot,” she explains.

Likened to a virtual funeral

Norah and Peter Omiat believe that despite the change in time and functions especially after the Covid-19 Pandemic a physical kukyaala will be better suited.

“Kukyaala is an opportunity for a family to meet and agree on whether the marriage ceremonies should proceed. There is so much benefit in being present physically on the first day you are meeting someone,” Norah says, adding that it gives a clearer picture of who they are and where your daughter or son is going.

“It shows intention and commitment to a certain degree, yet online is an excuse to avoid putting in effort and time. It gives a false sense of presence and connection if it is connecting people who are in close enough proximity to see each other,” she explains.

Norah notes that an online kukyaala can be likened to an online vigil or funeral.

“The person grieving will only feel emptier if even those close enough to stand with them in person stay in the comfort of their home and try to convince him or her that they care,” she explains.

Love, she says, is not convenient it does more than the bare minimum.

She however adds that in the scenario that some people are unavailable to attend physically for inevitable reasons, they should not miss out entirely when technology can make it possible.

Cannot imagine it

Innocent Ayebazibwe cannot imagine an online kukyaala. He believes that a physical presence creates more unity, gives assurance and peace to the bride and groom’s family.

“In case someone is staying far like outside the country and it is difficult for him to do a physical kukyaala or if someone is not physically well and he has it in mind that kukyaala must take place at that time,” Ayebazibwe says.

Be adaptive but also considerate

Richard Egesa says irrespective of the world’s changing times it is important that the families warm up to ideas that do not replace the cultural intention of the kukyaala.

“We need to appreciate the changing times that there are enablers making communication easy,” he explains.

“Online kukyaala helps to cut down on costs from the groom-to-be and bride-to-be especially if they are staying far apart,” Egesa adds.

He says if circumstances make it impossible for the groom or bride to travel for a physical ceremony, settling for a virtual one is a safe bet.

“The available technology can enable the involved parties to have a kukyaala and achieve the same purpose as the physical kukyaala,” he notes.

Physical distance counts

Meanwhile, Cathy Egesa says in case the bride and groom are in the same country or region, then an online kukyaala is inappropriate.

“If the bride and groom are in different countries, then an online kukyaala is okay,” she adds.

However, Richard is quick to add: “The physical presence of the parties at the kukyaala can never be substituted for anything. Nothing beats the authenticity of being in the same place and having a conversation that will lead to marriage.”

He encourages intending couples to do a physical kukyaala because it shows that the groom honours the bride and her family.

“It shows you have prioritised them, but when circumstances dictate that the kukyaala has to be online then it is not a bad option,” he explains.

In a nut shell...

Bottomline, circumstances especially distance play a big role in determining where an event will take place, how tech-savvy both families are and to what extent would they be comfortable with such an arrangement.

In the event that one is caught between how to carry out their function, dialogue between the spouses-to-be is always the starting point as they know their families better.