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Love knows no cultural barriers
Franckline Amanya Ngoboka and Sheeba Ssanyu defied the odds and found love.
What you need to know:
In a world where cultural barriers often divide people, Franckline Amanya Ngoboka and Sheeba Ssanyu defied the odds and found love. Their story is a testament to the power of connection and perseverance.
While modern influences have brought changes to Bahima ethnicitiy, many people strive to maintain their cultural traditions. Marriage customs and rituals continue to be cherished and efforts are made to ensure the preservation of Bahima cultural heritage.
For example, after Franckline and Sheeba’s wedding, the family expected them to honour some traditions which the bride and groom did not see as important since they were born again Christians. However, even after facing backlash from their respective families, the two stood their ground, ensuring all present that it was their union that mattered the most.
“It is the norm that a bride’s aunt escorts her to her new home to perform some rituals and after spending some time with the family, she is given a cow as an appreciation of her duties and goes back to her own home ,” Sheeba narrates, adding that because she and Franckline are born again Christians, they did not go through with this ritual.
Sheeba notes that she wanted to make her wedding memorable but was criticised by her tribemates who did not expect her to dance, which she did.
“Among the Bahima of western Uganda, the brides do not dance or speak at wedding ceremonies, especially in the presence of the in-laws, but I chose to do so. I love being myself so I followed my heart. I wanted to make the day, which comes once in a lifetime memorable, so I did what made me happy,” says Sheba .
Love at first sight
Franckline and Sheeba met in 2020 at WinWord Impex Limited, their workplace. When Covid-19 hit and lockdowns were instituted, their company arranged transportation for employees. As luck would have it, Franckline and Sheeba found themselves waiting together at the same pick-up point each morning. This daily encounter sparked conversations and laid the foundation for their friendship. Sometimes, Franckline would pray that the van delays so that he would spend more time with Sheeba.
“One day, she came dressed to kill, making it had for me to even take my eyes off her. I asked her on a date, which we agreed would take place after the lockdown had been lifted,” Franckline recalls, adding that despite Sheeba’s attempt to divert his attention, he knew in his heart that she was the love of his life. They soon discovered their shared values and deep connection.
Qualities
While Franckline was attracted to Sheeba’s beauty, elegance and kindness, Sheeba says Franckline was honest, respectful and focused; qualities she had always wanted in a husband. Whereas Franckline says Sheeba has had a good sense of humor from the beginning, she says he has been supportive all the way.
“He is a good counsellor. While I was going through tough times, his advice was of great help. If he starts giving ideas, you definitely give him a listening ear because they are always good and worthwhile,” says Sheba
Proposal
In 2021, Franckline proposed to Sheeba, with church leaders present to witness the moment.
“On November 19, 2021, I went down on one knee and asked her to be my wife. Being a Christian and one who serves God with all her heart, I had to invite her pastor and a few friends as witnesses. To me, this was reassurance that I was all in and ready to settle down with her,” Franklin says.
The two say their shared values made it easy for their relationship to blossom into marriage.
“We trusted each other, communicated regularly, talked honestly about our thoughts, feelings and worries which made our connection more intimate. We did not hide phone passwords from each other and agreed not to have children before holy matrimony,” Sheba adds.
They also supported each other where they had different opinions.
Wedding day
The couple got married at Heaven Harvesters Church on May 8, 2022, with Pastor Ditas Tashobya presiding over the ceremony. They later had their reception at Jicca Hotel, Ntinda. The wedding that cost Shs25m was mostly financed by family and friends as well as their savings.
Sheeba says she was traumatised by the hotel manager who held back her husband until he had paid for the excess number of guests. However, Franckline says he enjoyed the moments in church when his father in-law handed his daughter to him. He adds that he also enjoyed his wife’s dance moves at the reception.
The couple says the wedding costs were challenging due to Covid-19 but because they trusted God, they were able to have the wedding of their dreams.
Journey so far
Franckline and Sheeba say they believe in words of affirmation.
“We believe in 1 Corinthians 7:5, which encourages couples not to deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent,” he says.
Since they both love gifts, they often surprise each other and also ensure they do most things such as house chores together. They also attend monthly marrieds meetings where they share challenges and discuss solutions.
Starting a journey with someone you did not grow up with is not always easy. However, the couple says, dating for a while helped them know more about each other before marriage.
The two are blessed with a baby girl.
