My girlfriend is a tomboy

Peter Junior Eriaku. I thought you are supposed to love her the way she is. That is the point of true love. Just accept you are looking for an excuse to run.

Chiamaka Nweke. Buy her the things she loves often she will appreciate them and buy her the things she hates sometimes she will also get used. That’s how change starts from.

Dickson Sserwadda. At least if she doesn’t sleep around with other men that is a minor issue. She will gradually change as she gets older.

Immy Kansiime. Do not lose that girl, she will change with time. For instance when she gets pregnant, she may hall all you are seeing. Wish you well with her.

Benatyap Didam Mussa. You never loved her. You only wanted to change her to prove a point. Otherwise, you know her as a tomboy before asking her out. This simply means you’ve accepted her that way. Why the sudden change?

Robin Akemkwene. Sorry brother, it’s possible for a person to instill the kind of character he or she wants in his or her partner because no one is perfect. You choose and cut the excesses to fit you but if you have really tried and devised all means and the results are ineffective, it’s high time you just walked away because you cannot have a partner you fear to be identified with.

Nakasi Ritah Liz. You are meant to love her for who she is. Why do men always want women to change? Go find someone of the character you want.

Berny Bagyenda
You won’t change her. That’s her nature. She has chosen to be her true self rather than pretending to be who she is not. She cannot spend the rest of her life trying to impress others by ‘fitting’ in your (ideal) society. She is a realist not an existentialist. Now it is you to choose to accept her not the other way round.

Counsellor says: Stephen Langa, counsellor Family Life network
Let her be or lose her

Dear Paul, nobody has the capacity to change someone. We do not fall in love to change our partner’s character. This is a problem most couples face in relationships. We must therefore learn to adapt to who our spouse is.
There are no perfect people but you can look out for the negotiable and non-negotiable characters in a relationship while you are in courtship and be sure you are ready to live with the characters throughout the time you will be together. Look through her general character to see if she is marriage material besides her dress code.
If you think her dressing and boyish character is such a big deal to you and among your non–negotiable, I am afraid you may lose her. However, you can consider an open discussion with her if you have not talked to her openly about it. Present the discussion in a rather friendly way than confronting her. She may consider changing her dressing depending on how you handle the discussion.
Be very careful however, not to lose a good woman because of merely her dress code and being a tomboy.
Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka

Next week’s issue
My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than three years. She completed university recently and I thought our relationship was on the road to maturity. To my surprise, she told me how she no longer loves and asked that we take time off the relationship. She says she cannot explain why her love for me has reduced. I love her so much but it seems she is looking for a way out of the relationship. What can I do?
Bruce

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